There's Fortune to be Made in Michigan

I've decided to move to Michigan to become a bridge salesman after Mitt Romney won the Republican primary. He campaigned on empty baloons of hot air promising to bring jobs to Michigan. The only real accomplishment of Mitt's tenure as governor of Massachusetts was getting his name in the press in order to look presidential by opposing gay marriage, or reacting with glee when the Big Dig tunnel collapsed and he had a chance to don a hard hat and show his "leadership."

My mission now is to save the rest of the country from the same mistake Massachusetts voters made in 2002. Thankfully, Verbal Jazz did not vote for Mitt then.

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