Next: Kevin Costner to Direct "Dances With Sunnis"

In order to boost ratings for November Sweeps, NBC declares that Iraq has descended into Civil War. President Bush meanwhile is emphatic that there is no Civil War in Iraq. His Proof? There are no Blue or Gray uniforms, and he doesn’t have one of those mustache-less beards.

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Military recruiters kick themselves for not securing PS3s

With troop levels in Iraq called into serious question and Army recruiters having a difficult time with recruitment (“Get money for college if you don’t have your head blown off by an insurgent”), it seems that the government missed a big opportunity in not inking an exclusive distribution deal with Sony over the PS3. After all, if people are willing to camp out for days on end and engage in physical violence, then signing on with a military recruiter for a tour of duty in the Iraqi countryside might also seem a small price to pay in order to pay the price to buy PS3.

John Kerry could have changed the joke to, “If you don’t study hard in school and play video games, you could get stuck in Iraq” prompting an outcry about how military service is about more than using all of one’s brain energy to use one’s opposable thumbs, from people who spent the Vietnam years on their asses (ie Bush Cheney, Limbaugh).

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Rumsfeld Resigns

Anyone else think Rummy should spend his retirement in Baghdad until the area is stabilized?

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Mixing Metaphors -- John Kerry Edition

John Kerry proves once again that he is the Drew Bledsoe of politics. He has all of the opportunity in the world to produce a winner, but either hesitates and takes a sack (deciding whether to out the Swift Boat Vets for Truth as a group of callous liars ) or throws an interception that the other team returns for a touchdown (botches the punchline of a joke that makes it seem as though he thinks troops are stupid, and thus allowing the intended target, the President, to make a big deal of it). Or is Drew Bledsoe the John Kerry of Quarterbacks? Either way, Kerry has turned the Democratic team over to another candidate for 2008.

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