Report: DeLay to Take Up Painting, Yoga
Satire
Former House Majority Leader and soon to be former Congressional Representative, Tom DeLay (R-TX), is apparently poised to take it easy in his retirement. DeLay, known by such nicknames as "The Hammer" and "The Exterminator" for his aggressive management style, has apparently ordered staffers to find a complete set of Bob Ross videos.
"Congressman DeLay is looking to take some time learning new skills," said one staff member. "In addition to painting, he plans to take up yoga and may switch to a vegetarian diet to rid himself of the moral filth he consumed inside the Beltway."
While DeLay has purchased canvasses and paint, his staff members are apparently having quite a difficult time finding Bob Ross painting videos. The lack of availability threw DeLay into a rage as he shouted to staff members, "Get me those [expletive] happy little trees!"
If anyone knows where to find Bob Ross videos, they are urged to contact Mr. DeLay's office immediately. |
Former House Majority Leader and soon to be former Congressional Representative, Tom DeLay (R-TX), is apparently poised to take it easy in his retirement. DeLay, known by such nicknames as "The Hammer" and "The Exterminator" for his aggressive management style, has apparently ordered staffers to find a complete set of Bob Ross videos.
"Congressman DeLay is looking to take some time learning new skills," said one staff member. "In addition to painting, he plans to take up yoga and may switch to a vegetarian diet to rid himself of the moral filth he consumed inside the Beltway."
While DeLay has purchased canvasses and paint, his staff members are apparently having quite a difficult time finding Bob Ross painting videos. The lack of availability threw DeLay into a rage as he shouted to staff members, "Get me those [expletive] happy little trees!"
If anyone knows where to find Bob Ross videos, they are urged to contact Mr. DeLay's office immediately. |
