Guantanamo Bay Prisoners Fed Bagged Spinach
Satire
Bagged spinach may have disappeared from the supermarket shelf after a breakout of E-coli, but those bags of spinach have turned up at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp and have been cooked into numerous spinach-based dishes.
“We were brought numerous bags of spinach last week and instructed to feed it to prisoners,” said one guard stationed in Guantanamo Bay. “We were also instructed to interrogate prisoners who ate the spinach.”
“We’re very concerned about what seems like a very severe interrogation technique,” said Morgan Howard, spokesperson for SPLAAT, Society for People and Living Animals Against Torture. “It seems like a clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, as feeding these prisoners is tantamount to torture.”
The White House has been very forceful in its defense of the Guantanamo Bay nutrition initiative. “There are those that will tell you what we are doing is torture, but what we are providing is nutrition; spinach is healthy,” said President Bush. “The Geneva Conventions don’t tell us not to feed prisoners. We’re feeding prisoners. If feeding prisoners has the side-effect of making America more secure against terrorists then I am all for it.”
Thus far, there have not been any reports of illness related to the bagged spinach at Guantanamo, but today’s menu calls for a spinach salad. |
Bagged spinach may have disappeared from the supermarket shelf after a breakout of E-coli, but those bags of spinach have turned up at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp and have been cooked into numerous spinach-based dishes.
“We were brought numerous bags of spinach last week and instructed to feed it to prisoners,” said one guard stationed in Guantanamo Bay. “We were also instructed to interrogate prisoners who ate the spinach.”
“We’re very concerned about what seems like a very severe interrogation technique,” said Morgan Howard, spokesperson for SPLAAT, Society for People and Living Animals Against Torture. “It seems like a clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, as feeding these prisoners is tantamount to torture.”
The White House has been very forceful in its defense of the Guantanamo Bay nutrition initiative. “There are those that will tell you what we are doing is torture, but what we are providing is nutrition; spinach is healthy,” said President Bush. “The Geneva Conventions don’t tell us not to feed prisoners. We’re feeding prisoners. If feeding prisoners has the side-effect of making America more secure against terrorists then I am all for it.”
Thus far, there have not been any reports of illness related to the bagged spinach at Guantanamo, but today’s menu calls for a spinach salad. |
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