You Can Have Your Corned Beef -- and Eat It, Too!

A number of American Bishops have issued a special dispensation granting Catholics permission to eat meat, specifically corned beef, on St. Patrick’s Day. Catholics are typically prohibited from eating meat on Fridays during Lent because Jesus was a big supporter of the commercial fishing industry, and is, to this day, believed to hold stock in StarKist Foods, which he will redeem upon the Second Coming. Catholics are told not to expect this dispensation extending to birth control measures, seeing that Jesus also preached about the evils of contraception in the Sermon on the Mount.

|