March Madness Loss of Productivity Felt Beyond the Workplace

As many American males begin to overdose on the NCAA basketball tournament, known colloqiually as "March Madness," the Verbal Jazz Office of Nonsensical Statistics Randomly Generated in Order to Create Media Buzz for this Office (VJONSRGOCMBO) calculates that approximately five million potential sexual encounters will be delayed or postponed. This delay is expected to produce a dip in the number of births in mid-to-late December, but the VJONSRGOCMBO does not stand by this interpretation.

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