Cover letter for new job opening
Honorable George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Dear George:
I understand that you may soon have some vacancies in the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA. Until last week, I thought FEMA was a bone, but that is beside the point. I am writing because my experience makes me an excellent candidate for any position that may soon open at FEMA, in particular the position of Under Secretary.
I may not know the ins and outs of show horses, but I have significant experience in the realm of crisis management. I would prove to be an asset as the FEMA Undersecretary. (You see, George, I thought it was femur until this past week! Femur!) Anyway, here are the key reasons why I would be able to assume control of this prestigious agency:
* As the managing director of my own household, I have frequently been charged with operating the plunger management system. If I can manage a toilet full of contaminated water, imagine what I could do with a whole city!
* Also, in my role of household managing director, I managed to remove a mouse corpse from the house before panic ensued. That, my friend, is taking charge.
* My grandfather was Deputy Chief of the Brockton, MA Fire Department. This blood lineage proves that I have the innate skills to manage a crisis. Plus, nominating someone from Massachusetts might help your successor garner some votes!
There are many other great reasons to put me in charge of FEMA, but I realize that I have not contributed in any significant way to your campaigns for president. George, you have my guarantee, that as Under Secretary of FEMA, you have my pledge to financially support the campaign of your hand-picked successor in 2008.
In short, we could both use the money.
Sincerely,
Chris Vallancourt
|
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Dear George:
I understand that you may soon have some vacancies in the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA. Until last week, I thought FEMA was a bone, but that is beside the point. I am writing because my experience makes me an excellent candidate for any position that may soon open at FEMA, in particular the position of Under Secretary.
I may not know the ins and outs of show horses, but I have significant experience in the realm of crisis management. I would prove to be an asset as the FEMA Undersecretary. (You see, George, I thought it was femur until this past week! Femur!) Anyway, here are the key reasons why I would be able to assume control of this prestigious agency:
* As the managing director of my own household, I have frequently been charged with operating the plunger management system. If I can manage a toilet full of contaminated water, imagine what I could do with a whole city!
* Also, in my role of household managing director, I managed to remove a mouse corpse from the house before panic ensued. That, my friend, is taking charge.
* My grandfather was Deputy Chief of the Brockton, MA Fire Department. This blood lineage proves that I have the innate skills to manage a crisis. Plus, nominating someone from Massachusetts might help your successor garner some votes!
There are many other great reasons to put me in charge of FEMA, but I realize that I have not contributed in any significant way to your campaigns for president. George, you have my guarantee, that as Under Secretary of FEMA, you have my pledge to financially support the campaign of your hand-picked successor in 2008.
In short, we could both use the money.
Sincerely,
Chris Vallancourt
|
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