News Flash: McCarver NOT worst thing about All-Star Game

In an effort to take the pressure off of the superbly annoying analyst Tim McCarver, Fox Sports went out of its way to focus on everything but baseball last night:

1. "Bad News Bears" tie-in

2. "Fantastic Four" tie in

3. Mark Fydrich, sporting a Taco Bell cap and jersey offering encouragement to the Rick Ankiel protege trying to get five balls through the little circle in order to win $1 million.

4. Chevrolet tie-in (Although ASG MVP Miguel Tejada looked genuinely moved upon receiving a yellow Corvette).

5. Kevin Kennedy (lousy former manager and even worse TV personality) talking with Puddy from "Seinfeld," oops, I mean Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers. Sample question: "How does it feel to be booed after you acted like a complete asshole in beating up a cameraman?" Sample answer: "I'm still an asshole, but other players wish they could do the same thing, like when Jerry heckled the heckler in the workplace. I wasn't in that episode."

6. "Scooter", the animated baseball describing a change-up because Tim McCarver isn't willing to do so because his researchers have failed to find the perfect Shakespearean quote to augment his description.

7. Despite not being present at the game, Joe Torre cannot go a single day without getting some love from Buck and McCarver.

8. Jeannie Zelasko cutting off legendary broadcaster Ernie Harwell in the midst of his discussion of Al Kaline. In Zelasko's defense, maybe she thought her water was about to break, although her maternity costume made her look like a failed attempt to create the Great Pumpkin for a Macy's day parade float. Since she kept yammering after cutting Harwell off, Verbal Jazz can only conclude that Zelasko was jealous of the real talent and love for the game that Harwell exhibited.

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