Look to Lance for the current threat level

Satire

A recent poll summing up American attitudes about the Tour de France found that 58% of Americans believe that the color of the tour leader’s jersey is tied to the Department of Homeland Security threat level, which is currently yellow. Other sources confirm that Lance Armstrong, well on his way to a seventh straight Tour de France victory, is retiring because he simply does not look good in yellow. It is not known whether Armstrong will continue to dress in accordance with the Homeland Security threat level.

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