President Bush seeks to make Patriots permanent
Satire
At a rally in Columbus, Ohio yesterday President Bush implored Congress to make the Patriots the permanent Super Bowl champions.
"The Patriots' Super Bowl victories have accomplished exactly what they were designed to do. They have promoted freedom across the NFL and protected America from the uncertainty of having a different Super Bowl victor from year to year. I urge Congress to make the Patriots permanent," said the President.
The crowd of Browns and Bengals fans cheered reluctantly.
Congress is not likely to act on the President's urging as many Senators and Congressional Representatives have already pledged loyalty to their own local football team. "Despite the recent public relations errors of my team, the San Francisco Forty-Niners, it is impossible for me to support the President on this issue," said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.
Conservative bloggers are expected to take up the President's cause in full force citing statistics that show the world has been a safer place since the Patriots' first Super Bowl victory. |
At a rally in Columbus, Ohio yesterday President Bush implored Congress to make the Patriots the permanent Super Bowl champions.
"The Patriots' Super Bowl victories have accomplished exactly what they were designed to do. They have promoted freedom across the NFL and protected America from the uncertainty of having a different Super Bowl victor from year to year. I urge Congress to make the Patriots permanent," said the President.
The crowd of Browns and Bengals fans cheered reluctantly.
Congress is not likely to act on the President's urging as many Senators and Congressional Representatives have already pledged loyalty to their own local football team. "Despite the recent public relations errors of my team, the San Francisco Forty-Niners, it is impossible for me to support the President on this issue," said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.
Conservative bloggers are expected to take up the President's cause in full force citing statistics that show the world has been a safer place since the Patriots' first Super Bowl victory. |
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