Cruise-Holmes seek to steal spotlight back from Jackson
Satire
Today promises to be a very big news day as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced their engagement in an attempt to steal the media spotlight back from the recently acquitted Michael Jackson.
"[Jackson's acquittal] was just a temporary speed bump in our attempts to promote 'Batman Begins' and 'War of the Worlds,'" said Tom Cruise. "But the Eiffel Tower and our love should be enough to bring the public back.
Michael Jackson could not be reached for comment.
Upon hearing the news of the Holmes-Cruise engagement, lonely men around the world have stepped up their attempts to lure Holmes away from Cruise. "I promise to not make you join my cult," professes one of many emails intercepted by Holmes publicist. |
Today promises to be a very big news day as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced their engagement in an attempt to steal the media spotlight back from the recently acquitted Michael Jackson.
"[Jackson's acquittal] was just a temporary speed bump in our attempts to promote 'Batman Begins' and 'War of the Worlds,'" said Tom Cruise. "But the Eiffel Tower and our love should be enough to bring the public back.
Michael Jackson could not be reached for comment.
Upon hearing the news of the Holmes-Cruise engagement, lonely men around the world have stepped up their attempts to lure Holmes away from Cruise. "I promise to not make you join my cult," professes one of many emails intercepted by Holmes publicist. |
<< Home