Bolton's temper tantrums linked to steroids taken for moustache
Satire
As a Senate gets set to vote on John Bolton for the role of Ambassador to the United Nations, new information has come forth about Bolton's now legendary temper tantrums. Sources confirm that several former aides to Mr. Bolton have testified to his rampant steroid usage.
Said one aide during her testimony, "[Bolton] used steroids in order to help grow that moustache."
For now President Bush stands behind his nominee, "The known science we have on steroids does not suggest that they are useful in the growing of moustaches as fabulous and vital to the cause of freedom on Mr. Bolton's."
"The Senate now finds itself in a bit of a bind," said noted pundit Lewis Morrow. "Here, they have just had major inquiries into steroid usage in professional sports and now they are prepared to send a steroid user to the United Nations. You may as well send in Barry Bonds while he waits for that knee to heal." |
As a Senate gets set to vote on John Bolton for the role of Ambassador to the United Nations, new information has come forth about Bolton's now legendary temper tantrums. Sources confirm that several former aides to Mr. Bolton have testified to his rampant steroid usage.
Said one aide during her testimony, "[Bolton] used steroids in order to help grow that moustache."
For now President Bush stands behind his nominee, "The known science we have on steroids does not suggest that they are useful in the growing of moustaches as fabulous and vital to the cause of freedom on Mr. Bolton's."
"The Senate now finds itself in a bit of a bind," said noted pundit Lewis Morrow. "Here, they have just had major inquiries into steroid usage in professional sports and now they are prepared to send a steroid user to the United Nations. You may as well send in Barry Bonds while he waits for that knee to heal." |
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