Police Academy 8: Border Patrol
American volunteerism got a shot in the arm recently when a group of self-proclaimed "Minutemen" set out to guard the Arizona-Mexico border from illegal immigrants. For those keeping score at home, the "Minutemen" are not trying to stem the tide of Americans heading to Mexico for Cinco de Mayo celebrations.
If I were a guessing man, I would venture that the "Minutemen" are overreacting to "Spanglish," a film that tells the tale of a culture clash between a Mexican woman and her daughter, who are in the US illegally, and a wealthy LA family with such modern problems as alcoholism, promiscuity, weight and overall unconvincing dialogue meant to purge the demons of wealthy liberal angst. If any film deserves a one-word review it is this one: "Spanguish." If the Swiss had "Minutemen" guarding the Austrian Alps back in the 1930s, they would have perfomed the important task of preventing "The Sound of Music."
Why these volunteer border guards settled on calling their activism the "Minuteman Project" could have myriad possibilities: an homage to the University of Massachusetts mascot; the overall time commitment that "Minutemen" put into getting Biblical with their spouses; an homage to the punk band; or an attempt to liken themselves to Revolutionary army volunteers who had taken up arms against the Redcoats in order to get cheaper tea and launch John Hancock's career as a colloquialism for signature.
What incredibly bad fashion sense one must have to wear a red coat when there is a war going on. Anyone who has ever played some form of wilderness survival combat knows that red coats makes you an easy target for your gun wielding opponent. Do we give the troops in Iraq Day-Glo orange and wish them well against the insurgency?
Picking out illegal Mexican immigrants who are trying to conceal themselves is likely to be a bit harder than pointing out the British in their silly red coats. Even though many are armed, the "Minutemen" are only supposed to count those crossing the border illegally and then tell US border guards, wink wink. In other words the "Minutemen" are supposed to be volunteer inventory clerks with guns instead of fancy hip calculators. They apparently don't need calculators as their weapons may be used as an abacus.
Let's hope the Minutemen branch out and start protecting the Canadian border as well. We don't need no hockey lovers infiltrating our way of life. |
If I were a guessing man, I would venture that the "Minutemen" are overreacting to "Spanglish," a film that tells the tale of a culture clash between a Mexican woman and her daughter, who are in the US illegally, and a wealthy LA family with such modern problems as alcoholism, promiscuity, weight and overall unconvincing dialogue meant to purge the demons of wealthy liberal angst. If any film deserves a one-word review it is this one: "Spanguish." If the Swiss had "Minutemen" guarding the Austrian Alps back in the 1930s, they would have perfomed the important task of preventing "The Sound of Music."
Why these volunteer border guards settled on calling their activism the "Minuteman Project" could have myriad possibilities: an homage to the University of Massachusetts mascot; the overall time commitment that "Minutemen" put into getting Biblical with their spouses; an homage to the punk band; or an attempt to liken themselves to Revolutionary army volunteers who had taken up arms against the Redcoats in order to get cheaper tea and launch John Hancock's career as a colloquialism for signature.
What incredibly bad fashion sense one must have to wear a red coat when there is a war going on. Anyone who has ever played some form of wilderness survival combat knows that red coats makes you an easy target for your gun wielding opponent. Do we give the troops in Iraq Day-Glo orange and wish them well against the insurgency?
Picking out illegal Mexican immigrants who are trying to conceal themselves is likely to be a bit harder than pointing out the British in their silly red coats. Even though many are armed, the "Minutemen" are only supposed to count those crossing the border illegally and then tell US border guards, wink wink. In other words the "Minutemen" are supposed to be volunteer inventory clerks with guns instead of fancy hip calculators. They apparently don't need calculators as their weapons may be used as an abacus.
Let's hope the Minutemen branch out and start protecting the Canadian border as well. We don't need no hockey lovers infiltrating our way of life. |
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