Easter Bunny shut out of town for advocating poor nutritional habits
Satire
CONCORD, MA - The Easter Bunny will most likely be skipping this Massachusetts town after receiving a cease and desist letter from a collection of concerned parents. Their concern? That the Easter Bunny will deliver too much candy and spur an epidemic of Type II diabetes among their children.
"We have no problem with the Easter Bunny bringing colored eggs, aside from the cholesterol content," said Joyce McKnight, the parent who started the campaign to curb the Bunny's activities.
Some parents were not happy to learn that the Easter Bunny may not be visiting. Brenda Dawson is particularly upset. "What am I going to tell my children? That the Easter Bunny isn't real? That the Easter Bunny is peddling unhealthy snacks? The promise of Easter candy is the only way I can get them to go to Church once a year."
McKnight and the rest of the concerned parents are nonplussed. "We don't want that Bunny coming through here distributing milk chocolate death sentences," said Fred Walcott.
Lawyers for the Easter Bunny are reviewing other options to bring Easter to the children of Concord, including a selected Easter basket dropoff area for parents who do want their children to participate and the inclusion of a nutrition and dental brochure in each basket delivered in Concord.
Would you trust this bunny to give your children candy? |
CONCORD, MA - The Easter Bunny will most likely be skipping this Massachusetts town after receiving a cease and desist letter from a collection of concerned parents. Their concern? That the Easter Bunny will deliver too much candy and spur an epidemic of Type II diabetes among their children.
"We have no problem with the Easter Bunny bringing colored eggs, aside from the cholesterol content," said Joyce McKnight, the parent who started the campaign to curb the Bunny's activities.
Some parents were not happy to learn that the Easter Bunny may not be visiting. Brenda Dawson is particularly upset. "What am I going to tell my children? That the Easter Bunny isn't real? That the Easter Bunny is peddling unhealthy snacks? The promise of Easter candy is the only way I can get them to go to Church once a year."
McKnight and the rest of the concerned parents are nonplussed. "We don't want that Bunny coming through here distributing milk chocolate death sentences," said Fred Walcott.
Lawyers for the Easter Bunny are reviewing other options to bring Easter to the children of Concord, including a selected Easter basket dropoff area for parents who do want their children to participate and the inclusion of a nutrition and dental brochure in each basket delivered in Concord.
Would you trust this bunny to give your children candy? |
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