Do you suffer from Bloginosis? Verbal Jazz is here to help
Are you a blogger suffering from a case of the musings, random thoughts, ponderings, ramblings, or rants? Is the purpose of your blog to pontificate, point out the shortcomings of (pick one: terror-loving liberals, fascist conservatives, idiots, morons, the clueless), or inform the world of your personal demons? Then you may have a Bloginosis: an unfounded belief that your blog is "important" to other people.
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
Bloginosis can be quite debilitating as, with post after post, you try to make sense of your life, politics, or your relationship to a god that treats you like a spittoon. You may even believe that you are a positive force for change in the world - one blog entry at a time.
When posting your blog, it is not uncommon to feel a rush of power, especially when you begin to see comments on certain posts. Remain calm. Take a deep breath, and remember that the only ones who care what you have to say are those within your own echo chamber: right-wing morons who think Ann Coulter makes reasonable, informed arguments, reactionary liberals who claim the phrase "reactionary liberal" should be written as "concerned person of nonspecific gender or bias," and others who may be utterly devoid of irony.
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
Here are some suggestions for when you do feel a bout of Bloginosis coming on:
Remember - your thoughts aren't random: they are a controlled outpouring based on past experiences and beliefs. If your thoughts were random, you would not be able to carry on a conversation - even after they checked you into the mental ward with signs of schizophrenia.
For those of you prone to ranting - remember a rant is inherently illogical and you are most likely writing loudly about something which you probably know very little about. It's okay to be wrong and ill-informed, but you are only impeding your own development by foolishly clinging to beliefs you formed at 17.
If you happen to be musing or pondering you might consider pen and ink so you don't look back on your musings, ponderings or poor attempts at poetry and say: "I let a few hundred people see that? What the hell was I thinking?"
Those of you rambling, try reading your blog aloud. Tape-record it if you must. Listen. Would you read the puerile nonsense coming out of your mouth? You're no Jack Kerouac...but try drinking a bit more before you blog, maybe you'll just forget why you wanted to blog in the first place.
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
If, after following our advice, you continue to experience increased surges in your own self-importance after posting, please call the Verbal Jazz Hotline. Bloginosis is curable and preventable. Together we can fight this disease and promote safe blogging everywhere. |
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
Bloginosis can be quite debilitating as, with post after post, you try to make sense of your life, politics, or your relationship to a god that treats you like a spittoon. You may even believe that you are a positive force for change in the world - one blog entry at a time.
When posting your blog, it is not uncommon to feel a rush of power, especially when you begin to see comments on certain posts. Remain calm. Take a deep breath, and remember that the only ones who care what you have to say are those within your own echo chamber: right-wing morons who think Ann Coulter makes reasonable, informed arguments, reactionary liberals who claim the phrase "reactionary liberal" should be written as "concerned person of nonspecific gender or bias," and others who may be utterly devoid of irony.
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
Here are some suggestions for when you do feel a bout of Bloginosis coming on:
Remember - your thoughts aren't random: they are a controlled outpouring based on past experiences and beliefs. If your thoughts were random, you would not be able to carry on a conversation - even after they checked you into the mental ward with signs of schizophrenia.
For those of you prone to ranting - remember a rant is inherently illogical and you are most likely writing loudly about something which you probably know very little about. It's okay to be wrong and ill-informed, but you are only impeding your own development by foolishly clinging to beliefs you formed at 17.
If you happen to be musing or pondering you might consider pen and ink so you don't look back on your musings, ponderings or poor attempts at poetry and say: "I let a few hundred people see that? What the hell was I thinking?"
Those of you rambling, try reading your blog aloud. Tape-record it if you must. Listen. Would you read the puerile nonsense coming out of your mouth? You're no Jack Kerouac...but try drinking a bit more before you blog, maybe you'll just forget why you wanted to blog in the first place.
Verbal Jazz is here to help.
If, after following our advice, you continue to experience increased surges in your own self-importance after posting, please call the Verbal Jazz Hotline. Bloginosis is curable and preventable. Together we can fight this disease and promote safe blogging everywhere. |
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