Fear and Loathing over crocodile tears

Satire

David Johnson reacted with "fear and loathing" when he heard the news that Hunter S. Thompson had committed suicide. Johnson told all of his friends that he was "completely bummed out [by Thompson's death] and needed some time to collect his thoughts.

Johnson now admits that he doesn't care about Thompson's death. "I never read anything the guy wrote," said Johnson. "I always meant to, but it always seemed to me that he was more personality than talent.

Johnson claims that the lie grew innocently enough. He was at his friend Steve's house when they both heard the news that Thompson was dead. "I wanted to appear cool and hip, so I told Steve that I read everything by Thompson," said Johnson. "I mean you can't just maintain your cool friends if you don't like Hunter S. Thompson, Henry Miller or Jack Kerouac and I strike out on all three."

Secretly, Johnson worries that his friends might think he is too middle of the road. "Maybe I should just join the Bible study group now," said Johnson, "before I tell them that I think 'Naked Lunch' is an incoherent mess."

Johnson maintains that he was really upset when Kurt Cobain died.

|