Kerik's nanny part of terrorist organization
Satire
Today it was revealed that not only did former Department of Homeland Security nominee, Bernard Kerik, employ an illegal alien as a nanny, but the nanny in question is also a member of the Nanny Death Squad (NDS). The NDS is well-known a terrorist organization looking to infiltrate the homes of the bourgeoisie in order to control the minds of the children living there.
According to Ralph Smacman, a counterterrorism expert working to eliminate the NDS, Kerik's nanny would have taught children about "the so-called evils of America" from the time the child could first utter "mama" or "dada." Frequently, children as young as one or two are taught to say words like "infidel."
"It's not like the name seems to imply," said Smacman, "With a name like Nanny Death Squad, you would think it would be like a bunch of nannies like that British one from a few years ago, Louise Whatshername. What Kerik's nanny was up to is so much worse and could have a long-term affect on our ability to appreciate freedom. We'll have to monitor these children that were under control of an NDS nanny for a very long time; the may end up burning flags or saying they don't believe in Uncle Sam."
Upon hearing the new news about Kerik's nanny, former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani, injured his rotator cuff while performing a rigorous self-flagellation. It is believed that the self-flagellation will reduce any penance the Bush administration hands down to Giuliani for recommending Kerik to the Homeland Security post.
Smacman recommends choosing a nanny carefully, as there are many applicants who are a member of the NDS. |
Today it was revealed that not only did former Department of Homeland Security nominee, Bernard Kerik, employ an illegal alien as a nanny, but the nanny in question is also a member of the Nanny Death Squad (NDS). The NDS is well-known a terrorist organization looking to infiltrate the homes of the bourgeoisie in order to control the minds of the children living there.
According to Ralph Smacman, a counterterrorism expert working to eliminate the NDS, Kerik's nanny would have taught children about "the so-called evils of America" from the time the child could first utter "mama" or "dada." Frequently, children as young as one or two are taught to say words like "infidel."
"It's not like the name seems to imply," said Smacman, "With a name like Nanny Death Squad, you would think it would be like a bunch of nannies like that British one from a few years ago, Louise Whatshername. What Kerik's nanny was up to is so much worse and could have a long-term affect on our ability to appreciate freedom. We'll have to monitor these children that were under control of an NDS nanny for a very long time; the may end up burning flags or saying they don't believe in Uncle Sam."
Upon hearing the new news about Kerik's nanny, former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani, injured his rotator cuff while performing a rigorous self-flagellation. It is believed that the self-flagellation will reduce any penance the Bush administration hands down to Giuliani for recommending Kerik to the Homeland Security post.
Smacman recommends choosing a nanny carefully, as there are many applicants who are a member of the NDS. |
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