Torquemada to take over Justice Department
Just one week after the Presidential Election, Attorney General John Ashcroft has decided to step down. President Bush immediately tapped Spanish Inquisition Bishop Tomas de Tourquemada to replace Ashcroft.
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan discussed the relative merits of Torquemada. "History indicates that [Torquemada] retains his focus on the task at hand. The President has no doubts that he will prosecute the War on Terror to the fullest extent of the law."
The ACLU, however, is less than pleased. "They've taken the worst Attorney General in US history and have nominated a complete draconian sadist to take his place," said Michael Polny of the ACLU. "Now that we have the Spanish Inquisition, we may as well start a Crusade in the Middle East."
In addition to a relentless prosecution of the War on Terror, there may be another reason to promote Torquemada to the position of Attorney General. "Once we have Torquemada in place, expect those liberals at the ACLU to wish they had John Ashcroft back in office," said Senate Majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN).
The move is also exoected to appeal to Catholics, who have been showing greater support for the Republican Party. Republicans are also hoping that Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) implodes during the confirmation hearings as he tries to balance his own Catholicism with his likely opposition to Torquemada as a nominee.
|
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan discussed the relative merits of Torquemada. "History indicates that [Torquemada] retains his focus on the task at hand. The President has no doubts that he will prosecute the War on Terror to the fullest extent of the law."
The ACLU, however, is less than pleased. "They've taken the worst Attorney General in US history and have nominated a complete draconian sadist to take his place," said Michael Polny of the ACLU. "Now that we have the Spanish Inquisition, we may as well start a Crusade in the Middle East."
In addition to a relentless prosecution of the War on Terror, there may be another reason to promote Torquemada to the position of Attorney General. "Once we have Torquemada in place, expect those liberals at the ACLU to wish they had John Ashcroft back in office," said Senate Majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN).
The move is also exoected to appeal to Catholics, who have been showing greater support for the Republican Party. Republicans are also hoping that Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) implodes during the confirmation hearings as he tries to balance his own Catholicism with his likely opposition to Torquemada as a nominee.
|
<< Home