Kerry to donate left over campaign funds to worthy cause
Satire
With $16 Million left over from his presidential race, Senator John Kerry has decided to put that money to good use. Kerry plans to donate the campaign surplus to the Red Sox in hopes that they can use the extra cash to re-sign either catcher Jason Varitek or pitcher Pedro Martinez. In a Kerry campaign press release the former presidential candidate expressed the hope that the $16 million would serve the greater good.
The money would ideally help the Red Sox sweeten any deal they would make to either player. "This kind of a gift allows us to stay within our operational budget while providing much needed relief in helping us keep the core of this World Series championship team together," said Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein.
Normally a candidate will donate unused funds back to the party. This has the Democratic National Committee rather upset, but they will not express that publicly. Speaking off the record, one DNC employee said, "This is really a way of paying back the city of Boston for the inconvenience of the convention. But really, we should keep the money."
Other Major League Baseball teams may soon get into the act of charitable giving, as small market clubs like the Milwaukee Brewers and Kansas City Royals will begin collecting donations at local retailers throughout the holiday season.
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With $16 Million left over from his presidential race, Senator John Kerry has decided to put that money to good use. Kerry plans to donate the campaign surplus to the Red Sox in hopes that they can use the extra cash to re-sign either catcher Jason Varitek or pitcher Pedro Martinez. In a Kerry campaign press release the former presidential candidate expressed the hope that the $16 million would serve the greater good.
The money would ideally help the Red Sox sweeten any deal they would make to either player. "This kind of a gift allows us to stay within our operational budget while providing much needed relief in helping us keep the core of this World Series championship team together," said Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein.
Normally a candidate will donate unused funds back to the party. This has the Democratic National Committee rather upset, but they will not express that publicly. Speaking off the record, one DNC employee said, "This is really a way of paying back the city of Boston for the inconvenience of the convention. But really, we should keep the money."
Other Major League Baseball teams may soon get into the act of charitable giving, as small market clubs like the Milwaukee Brewers and Kansas City Royals will begin collecting donations at local retailers throughout the holiday season.
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