Time for the debates
President Bush and the challenger, John Kerry, have agreed on a series of three debates with the Vice Presidential candidates sharing "I-Told-You-So"s for one debate only. Apparently the debate rules are bound by a stringent contract that calls for the following provisions:
* No brown M&Ms
* Instant disqualification for fist fighting
* No challenging the opponent to a duel
* No other form of physical attack, including but not limited to gunshots, crosschecks, intentional tripping, thrown mud, pies to the face and other potential projectiles.
* No front row seating for the Swift Boat Veterans for Bush
* Dan Rather does not validate the veracity of either candidate's claims
* No sales of George W. Bush bobbleheads or John Kerry flip-flops
In addition, the Vice Presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards will feature a 10-second delay in case Vice President Cheney should choose to drop any of his patented F-bombs.
Beer stand concessions and hot dog sales are expected to fund Debate security. |
* No brown M&Ms
* Instant disqualification for fist fighting
* No challenging the opponent to a duel
* No other form of physical attack, including but not limited to gunshots, crosschecks, intentional tripping, thrown mud, pies to the face and other potential projectiles.
* No front row seating for the Swift Boat Veterans for Bush
* Dan Rather does not validate the veracity of either candidate's claims
* No sales of George W. Bush bobbleheads or John Kerry flip-flops
In addition, the Vice Presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards will feature a 10-second delay in case Vice President Cheney should choose to drop any of his patented F-bombs.
Beer stand concessions and hot dog sales are expected to fund Debate security. |
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