Forget the Convention, the Kobe Bryant charges were dropped
There is a Republican convention going on featuring self-congratulatory, onanistic, blowhard rhetoric which basically boils down to: "Bush was president on 9/11 and should remain president because he was president on 9/11. Also he likes war. War means we act." However there is a bigger news story this morning: the rape charge filed against basketball star Kobe Bryant was dropped.
Verbal Jazz attempted to rounds up a legal analyst this morning to discuss this momentous occasion, but all I could find was a construction lawyer, as the criminal defense and prosecution experts were all gobbled up by ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classic, Fox Sports Net, CNN, CNN Headline News, C-SPAN, C-SPAN2, all major networks, the Weather Channel, QVC, the History Channel, Bravo, Spike TV, Nickelodeon, and National Public Radio. Therefore, I will be casting myself as the legal expert:
Verbal Jazz question: Was justice served?
Verbal Jazz answer: Well, no, justice doesn't drink.
Verbal Jazz question: did the prosecution have a strong enough case?
Verbal Jazz Answer: they sure did if the defendant wasn't a multi-millionaire with access to a high-powered legal team. Next time, I expect the Eagle county DA to go after someone who won't generate as much media coverage. They need a win.
Verbal Jazz question: Should the accuser's sexual history, as well as her history of mental illness, have been taken into account?
Verbal Jazz answer: Yes, Kobe should have pre-screened the applicant before deciding to cheat on his wife.
Verbal Jazz question: was this really more important than the Republican National Convention?
Verbal Jazz answer: Would you rather watch Kobe Bryant play basketball or listen to Dick Cheney?
Verbal Jazz question: What next?
Verbal Jazz answer: Well, I'm hoping that the Bush twins can somehow work the Kobe thing into their act before they take it on the road. They also need to work on the delivery somewhat.
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Verbal Jazz attempted to rounds up a legal analyst this morning to discuss this momentous occasion, but all I could find was a construction lawyer, as the criminal defense and prosecution experts were all gobbled up by ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classic, Fox Sports Net, CNN, CNN Headline News, C-SPAN, C-SPAN2, all major networks, the Weather Channel, QVC, the History Channel, Bravo, Spike TV, Nickelodeon, and National Public Radio. Therefore, I will be casting myself as the legal expert:
Verbal Jazz question: Was justice served?
Verbal Jazz answer: Well, no, justice doesn't drink.
Verbal Jazz question: did the prosecution have a strong enough case?
Verbal Jazz Answer: they sure did if the defendant wasn't a multi-millionaire with access to a high-powered legal team. Next time, I expect the Eagle county DA to go after someone who won't generate as much media coverage. They need a win.
Verbal Jazz question: Should the accuser's sexual history, as well as her history of mental illness, have been taken into account?
Verbal Jazz answer: Yes, Kobe should have pre-screened the applicant before deciding to cheat on his wife.
Verbal Jazz question: was this really more important than the Republican National Convention?
Verbal Jazz answer: Would you rather watch Kobe Bryant play basketball or listen to Dick Cheney?
Verbal Jazz question: What next?
Verbal Jazz answer: Well, I'm hoping that the Bush twins can somehow work the Kobe thing into their act before they take it on the road. They also need to work on the delivery somewhat.
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