Coffee is a gateway drug for ...caffeine!

Researchers at the Institute for that Which You Already Know have discovered that even as little as one cup of coffee per day can cause an addiction, and with that addiction comes symptoms of withdrawal.

Expect the anti-drug and anti-caffeine lobbies to petition the government to criminalize caffeine. Fortunately the coffee industry can afford lobbyists that will keep caffeine safe and legal and readily available to addicts like Verbal Jazz, that way we can avoid caffeine detox centers, coffee grounds being sold under bridges and head shops that sell French presses.

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