This just in: Newark tourism shows no ill effects from Orange Alert, tourism remains at zero

Tourism in Newark remained nill just days after the Department of Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid issued an Orange Alert for D.C., New York and Newark. Newark officials are pleased that they can continue showing tourism as 0 as opposed to a negative number. "How do you explain negative numbers for tourists, anyway?" said Ralph Manka, President of the Newark Chamber of Commerce.

|