Nomar hurt Achilles during gay marriage rally
Satire
Over the past ten days there have been numerous conflicting reports as to how former Boston Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra injured his Achilles tendon. Verbal Jazz has discovered that it was not hurt playing soccer or with a baseball. Nomar injured his Achilles marching in support of gay marriage. Fellow marchers noticed Garciaparra on the ground, writhing in pain and sporting a pin reading: "Straight but not narrow."
Apparently, Garciaparra's support of gay marriage ("I just don't see anything wrong with it," he reportedly said) had served to further alienate them from his Red Sox teammates, many of whom are religiously conservative and seeking to display their alpha male dominance.
"We didn't really care whether he supported the rights of people to marry plush animals," said one Red Sox staffer, "but he chose to take a side that many on the clubhouse were uncomfortable with. Especially since the Red Sox play in Boston, which has become ground zero for the gay marriage debate."
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Over the past ten days there have been numerous conflicting reports as to how former Boston Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra injured his Achilles tendon. Verbal Jazz has discovered that it was not hurt playing soccer or with a baseball. Nomar injured his Achilles marching in support of gay marriage. Fellow marchers noticed Garciaparra on the ground, writhing in pain and sporting a pin reading: "Straight but not narrow."
Apparently, Garciaparra's support of gay marriage ("I just don't see anything wrong with it," he reportedly said) had served to further alienate them from his Red Sox teammates, many of whom are religiously conservative and seeking to display their alpha male dominance.
"We didn't really care whether he supported the rights of people to marry plush animals," said one Red Sox staffer, "but he chose to take a side that many on the clubhouse were uncomfortable with. Especially since the Red Sox play in Boston, which has become ground zero for the gay marriage debate."
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