Don't even think about substituting a corn muffin, you godless freak

An eight-year-old girl in New Jersey had her recent First Communion overturned via Catholic Church Instant Replay. Her offense? Due to a condition that makes it harmful for her to experience the miracle that is wheat, she received a rice based Communion substitute. That's right, folks, being unable to eat wheat puts you in the same boat as being gay and supporting abortion rights. If you happen to be a pro-choice lesbian with a wheat allergy, you can kiss that sweet grace of god good-bye.

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