Fixing the Democrats
Guest Editorial - Horace T. Winwax III
It has come to my attention that residents of the city of Boston, and those who work in said city will be forced to deal with a nuisance known as the Democrats this summer. I would not wish the Democrats on anyone, but if I were to wish them on anyone, it would be on the people of the city of Boston. After all, Boston has been a reliable Democratic stronghold since the Pilgrims landed on that rock in Boston Harbor and brought civilization with them.
That's enough history, we need to focus on the present. If Boston were more reliably Republican, then the Democrats wouldn't even exist and thus the Democratic convention would be held in an empty Fleet Center. Besides who, besides Democrats would want to celebrate in a town that offers marriage licenses to anyone who walks in off the street? I mean, if I were not married to Mrs. Winwax, I could conceivably be married to a Democrat!
As usual, I have a much better insight as to how to rectalfy the situation: place all the Democrats on a barge, and set them afloat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean until they decide upon their nominee, Ted Kennedy runs out of alcohol, or they run aground in France, whichever comes last.
I have no love for France since they fought side by side along Iraqi troops in that war we recently fought. In fact, I guarantee the outrage over those photos from the Abu Dhabi prison would have been less outrage if people actually knew that some of those prisoners were French. I mean, the French love wearing women's underwear on their heads and having dogs sniff their privates: that's why the Iraqis won't admit that the French are on their side.
So, the ultimate solution for Bostonians faced with the Democratic convention is to simply ship all Democrats to France, where they can nominate whomever they like and sip all the bored-o whine they like and eat French Fries without Freedom.
Horace T. Winwax III is the founder of the Winwax Association for Cultural Knowledge. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Verbal Jazz, but it can be said that Mr. Winwax comes to his opinions honestly.
|
It has come to my attention that residents of the city of Boston, and those who work in said city will be forced to deal with a nuisance known as the Democrats this summer. I would not wish the Democrats on anyone, but if I were to wish them on anyone, it would be on the people of the city of Boston. After all, Boston has been a reliable Democratic stronghold since the Pilgrims landed on that rock in Boston Harbor and brought civilization with them.
That's enough history, we need to focus on the present. If Boston were more reliably Republican, then the Democrats wouldn't even exist and thus the Democratic convention would be held in an empty Fleet Center. Besides who, besides Democrats would want to celebrate in a town that offers marriage licenses to anyone who walks in off the street? I mean, if I were not married to Mrs. Winwax, I could conceivably be married to a Democrat!
As usual, I have a much better insight as to how to rectalfy the situation: place all the Democrats on a barge, and set them afloat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean until they decide upon their nominee, Ted Kennedy runs out of alcohol, or they run aground in France, whichever comes last.
I have no love for France since they fought side by side along Iraqi troops in that war we recently fought. In fact, I guarantee the outrage over those photos from the Abu Dhabi prison would have been less outrage if people actually knew that some of those prisoners were French. I mean, the French love wearing women's underwear on their heads and having dogs sniff their privates: that's why the Iraqis won't admit that the French are on their side.
So, the ultimate solution for Bostonians faced with the Democratic convention is to simply ship all Democrats to France, where they can nominate whomever they like and sip all the bored-o whine they like and eat French Fries without Freedom.
Horace T. Winwax III is the founder of the Winwax Association for Cultural Knowledge. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Verbal Jazz, but it can be said that Mr. Winwax comes to his opinions honestly.
|
<< Home