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Kerry hits something over fence: In 1971, while playing a friendly backyard baseball game, John Kerry allegedly homered in the second inning. Asked about it afterward, Kerry said, "I managed to get a good swing at the baseball."
According to many eyewitnesses, the ball that was knocked over the fence in 1971 was not a baseball, but a tennis ball. Acting on behalf of all media, Verbal Jazz has taken an exhastive look at whether the ball was really a baseball or a tennis ball that Senator Kerry hit for a home run.
"Of course a tennis ball would have more initial pop from a weaker swing," said MIT physicist Dalton McLean. "The odds are that it was a tennis ball hit over the fence, given the distance traveled and the likelihood of John Kerry having exceptional baseball skills"
Through exhaustive research, Verbal Jazz discovered that Kerry once, in the mid 1980s described the ball as a "Wiffle Ball." "Obviously a Wiffle ball would not travel as far as a baseball or a tennis ball," said noted Wiffle ball historian Arthur Mendencamp. "For Kerry to have hit a Wiffle the distance he claims would be a feat worthy of, say, a Barry Bonds."
Senator Kerry does not deny that it was a tennis ball that he hit. "Look, back then a tennis ball was frequently used as a baseball," said Kerry, the presumptive Democratic nominee. "If a tennis ball was being used in this capacity, then we would refer to it as a 'baseball.' The phrases are really interchangeable as far as this game goes. I hit the home run, that should be the end of it."
The Bush campaign is not about to let it rest however. "Obviously Kerry is playing fast and loose here with baseball which is an American tradition," said Bush campaign strategist Chad Huntington. "President Bush owned a baseball team and has enormous respect for the game. John Kerry does not. For all we know, John Kerry was on steroids when he hit that home run which will even further taint it in the record books."
In speaking with witnesses at the scene, it seems there was a bit of confusion as to whether it really was Kerry who homered to lead off the second. "You mean, you want me to remember the details of a backyard baseball game played almost 33 years ago?" said Mark Masters. "It's not like we kept a box score." In the end, we may never know what happened on that summer afternoon in 1971.
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Kerry hits something over fence: In 1971, while playing a friendly backyard baseball game, John Kerry allegedly homered in the second inning. Asked about it afterward, Kerry said, "I managed to get a good swing at the baseball."
According to many eyewitnesses, the ball that was knocked over the fence in 1971 was not a baseball, but a tennis ball. Acting on behalf of all media, Verbal Jazz has taken an exhastive look at whether the ball was really a baseball or a tennis ball that Senator Kerry hit for a home run.
"Of course a tennis ball would have more initial pop from a weaker swing," said MIT physicist Dalton McLean. "The odds are that it was a tennis ball hit over the fence, given the distance traveled and the likelihood of John Kerry having exceptional baseball skills"
Through exhaustive research, Verbal Jazz discovered that Kerry once, in the mid 1980s described the ball as a "Wiffle Ball." "Obviously a Wiffle ball would not travel as far as a baseball or a tennis ball," said noted Wiffle ball historian Arthur Mendencamp. "For Kerry to have hit a Wiffle the distance he claims would be a feat worthy of, say, a Barry Bonds."
Senator Kerry does not deny that it was a tennis ball that he hit. "Look, back then a tennis ball was frequently used as a baseball," said Kerry, the presumptive Democratic nominee. "If a tennis ball was being used in this capacity, then we would refer to it as a 'baseball.' The phrases are really interchangeable as far as this game goes. I hit the home run, that should be the end of it."
The Bush campaign is not about to let it rest however. "Obviously Kerry is playing fast and loose here with baseball which is an American tradition," said Bush campaign strategist Chad Huntington. "President Bush owned a baseball team and has enormous respect for the game. John Kerry does not. For all we know, John Kerry was on steroids when he hit that home run which will even further taint it in the record books."
In speaking with witnesses at the scene, it seems there was a bit of confusion as to whether it really was Kerry who homered to lead off the second. "You mean, you want me to remember the details of a backyard baseball game played almost 33 years ago?" said Mark Masters. "It's not like we kept a box score." In the end, we may never know what happened on that summer afternoon in 1971.
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