Why don't they say: "And the winner is?"
Those working in the special effects field, and perhaps the rest of those in the film industry, must be thankful that "The Lord of the Rings" is finally complete. Perhaps Peter Jackson could take the LOTR outtakes and package a new film called "Lord of the Rings: The Frolicking of the Fellowship," OR "Lord of the Rings: the Rise of the Geeks" but serious Tolkien fans may find some inconsistencies with the original works of the Good Professor. However LOTR:TFOTF or LOTR: TROTG would win the award for Special Effects. In fact, there could be no actual LOTR movie, but just the mere suggestion of one could earn it the Oscar for Special Effects.
Once again Verbal Jazz lets you down
Verbal Jazz did not get to witness the entire ceremony. For that I apologize. You pay me to watch the entire ceremony and I let you down. We understand that Tim Robbins did not deliver a political diatribe upon winning Best Supporting Actor. Maybe he is trying to get invited back to the Baseball Hall of Fame or maybe he is letting the lack of WOMD speak for themselves. I and the Missus Jazz were taking in a bit of actual live theater: "Sly Fox" starring Richard Dreyfus, Eric Stoltz, Rene Aberjenois, Bronson Pinchot, Peter Scolari, and Elizabeth Berkley, who proved that she has still not learned to act since "Showgirls." Ms. Berkley, however, was quite good in "Roger Dodger." Overall, the play featured too many jokes for the groundlings: how many euphemisms can there be for an erection without getting stale? Did either Levitra or Viagra sponsor the play?
Don't be nervous, it's only a couple of hundred million people watching
Verbal Jazz also will not discuss those in the film industry who appeared nervous realizing that in fact there were millions of people sitting in the comfort of their very own homes waiting for ways to find fault with them or their performance. That's right, the millions of us in our living rooms would not be as nervous as you folks!
The highlight of the evening for Verbal Jazz was the song sung by Jack Black and Wil Ferrell to the tune of the music played when an acceptance speech has gone on too long: "You're boring." That should be replayed at every Oscar telecast. The second best highlight was watching "Mitch & Mickey" (Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara) perform "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from "A Mighty Wind." The disappointment was that "Kiss" did not win the Oscar especially when one considers that music was the MO of the whole movie. LOTR:TROTK would have been a great film without the Annie Lennox song, "A Mighty Wind" would have been a much different movie without "Kiss."
Were Verbal Jazz to win an Oscar
First off, Verbal Jazz has no inkling as to how he would actually win an Oscar unless they started giving out awards for sarcasm in the blog world. Should I magically be nominated and actually win, my speech might read something like this:
"I'd like to thank the Missus Jazz and my family. I would gladly give this away if it guaranteed the Red Sox a World Series victory."
|
Those working in the special effects field, and perhaps the rest of those in the film industry, must be thankful that "The Lord of the Rings" is finally complete. Perhaps Peter Jackson could take the LOTR outtakes and package a new film called "Lord of the Rings: The Frolicking of the Fellowship," OR "Lord of the Rings: the Rise of the Geeks" but serious Tolkien fans may find some inconsistencies with the original works of the Good Professor. However LOTR:TFOTF or LOTR: TROTG would win the award for Special Effects. In fact, there could be no actual LOTR movie, but just the mere suggestion of one could earn it the Oscar for Special Effects.
Once again Verbal Jazz lets you down
Verbal Jazz did not get to witness the entire ceremony. For that I apologize. You pay me to watch the entire ceremony and I let you down. We understand that Tim Robbins did not deliver a political diatribe upon winning Best Supporting Actor. Maybe he is trying to get invited back to the Baseball Hall of Fame or maybe he is letting the lack of WOMD speak for themselves. I and the Missus Jazz were taking in a bit of actual live theater: "Sly Fox" starring Richard Dreyfus, Eric Stoltz, Rene Aberjenois, Bronson Pinchot, Peter Scolari, and Elizabeth Berkley, who proved that she has still not learned to act since "Showgirls." Ms. Berkley, however, was quite good in "Roger Dodger." Overall, the play featured too many jokes for the groundlings: how many euphemisms can there be for an erection without getting stale? Did either Levitra or Viagra sponsor the play?
Don't be nervous, it's only a couple of hundred million people watching
Verbal Jazz also will not discuss those in the film industry who appeared nervous realizing that in fact there were millions of people sitting in the comfort of their very own homes waiting for ways to find fault with them or their performance. That's right, the millions of us in our living rooms would not be as nervous as you folks!
The highlight of the evening for Verbal Jazz was the song sung by Jack Black and Wil Ferrell to the tune of the music played when an acceptance speech has gone on too long: "You're boring." That should be replayed at every Oscar telecast. The second best highlight was watching "Mitch & Mickey" (Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara) perform "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from "A Mighty Wind." The disappointment was that "Kiss" did not win the Oscar especially when one considers that music was the MO of the whole movie. LOTR:TROTK would have been a great film without the Annie Lennox song, "A Mighty Wind" would have been a much different movie without "Kiss."
Were Verbal Jazz to win an Oscar
First off, Verbal Jazz has no inkling as to how he would actually win an Oscar unless they started giving out awards for sarcasm in the blog world. Should I magically be nominated and actually win, my speech might read something like this:
"I'd like to thank the Missus Jazz and my family. I would gladly give this away if it guaranteed the Red Sox a World Series victory."
|
<< Home