The Verbal Jazz Highly Suspicious and Completely Immodest Oscar Proposal
Verbal Jazz proposes that we have Oscar night every four years to coincide with the Presidential Election/Leap Year. The Academy can engage in its little love-fest every February 29. This way, the entire process could be handled like the Presidential Primary: one film is selected from each year in between Oscar telecasts with a special Fifth Nominee thinks its time for a change in Hollywood and drains precious votes away from one of the films. Then the Producers, directors, actors, and special effects artists could hold debates as to why their work should be recognized on Oscar night with films not facing a snowball's chance on a hot, muggy afternoon in South Florida left to complain about their lack of attention. Peter Jennings, Tom Brokaw and CNN could prematurely call the Oscar contest: "It's 'Seabiscuit' in a clean sweep!" Then they would recant: "No, it looks like it might be 'Mystic River.'" Then they would recant one more time: "Now it is too close to call." If we had this kind of process in place for the Oscar voting, we might be discussing "Gigli" as the Best Picture by order of the Supreme Court.
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Verbal Jazz proposes that we have Oscar night every four years to coincide with the Presidential Election/Leap Year. The Academy can engage in its little love-fest every February 29. This way, the entire process could be handled like the Presidential Primary: one film is selected from each year in between Oscar telecasts with a special Fifth Nominee thinks its time for a change in Hollywood and drains precious votes away from one of the films. Then the Producers, directors, actors, and special effects artists could hold debates as to why their work should be recognized on Oscar night with films not facing a snowball's chance on a hot, muggy afternoon in South Florida left to complain about their lack of attention. Peter Jennings, Tom Brokaw and CNN could prematurely call the Oscar contest: "It's 'Seabiscuit' in a clean sweep!" Then they would recant: "No, it looks like it might be 'Mystic River.'" Then they would recant one more time: "Now it is too close to call." If we had this kind of process in place for the Oscar voting, we might be discussing "Gigli" as the Best Picture by order of the Supreme Court.
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