Free Martha!
An aria of "Oh, Crap!" or something to that effect, could be heard coming from the offices of K-Mart. So, let the obvious jokes fly about doilies in the penitentiary, or how to get more light into the ordinary jail cell (hint: paint it in a bright color), or even how to make the perfect centerpiece for one room using common jailhouse items. Yes, Martha Stewart was found guilty of several counts of lying and trying to cover her tracks just to score a quick buck.
So here is a quick Verbal Jazz breakdown of what it all means:
1. Women should not be wealthy: yes, the jury convicted all women who earn a lot of money while building a reputation for "bitchiness." Thus, the perfect homemaker should have stayed at home and not been involved in such things as trading stock.
2. The Free Martha movement can continue to fight for its cause: Free Mumia! Free Leonard Peltier! Free Martha!
3. Expect sales of "Martha Stewart Living" to slump.
4. If someone tells you that a stock that you own is going in the tank because of factors that will not be known publicly until tomorrow or the next day, accept your losses, because this is what is known as insider trading.
5. Martha gets street cred. After her parole, Martha gets edgy and daring with recipes and home decor concepts.
6. With John Kerry securing the Democratic Nomination, the media can bludgeon us into submission with the Stewart fallout.
Aaaahhh! So essentially Martha was convicted for lying about a an action for which the charge was dropped last week...hmmm |
An aria of "Oh, Crap!" or something to that effect, could be heard coming from the offices of K-Mart. So, let the obvious jokes fly about doilies in the penitentiary, or how to get more light into the ordinary jail cell (hint: paint it in a bright color), or even how to make the perfect centerpiece for one room using common jailhouse items. Yes, Martha Stewart was found guilty of several counts of lying and trying to cover her tracks just to score a quick buck.
So here is a quick Verbal Jazz breakdown of what it all means:
1. Women should not be wealthy: yes, the jury convicted all women who earn a lot of money while building a reputation for "bitchiness." Thus, the perfect homemaker should have stayed at home and not been involved in such things as trading stock.
2. The Free Martha movement can continue to fight for its cause: Free Mumia! Free Leonard Peltier! Free Martha!
3. Expect sales of "Martha Stewart Living" to slump.
4. If someone tells you that a stock that you own is going in the tank because of factors that will not be known publicly until tomorrow or the next day, accept your losses, because this is what is known as insider trading.
5. Martha gets street cred. After her parole, Martha gets edgy and daring with recipes and home decor concepts.
6. With John Kerry securing the Democratic Nomination, the media can bludgeon us into submission with the Stewart fallout.
Aaaahhh! So essentially Martha was convicted for lying about a an action for which the charge was dropped last week...hmmm |
<< Home