Bonds, Sheffield, Giambi, Oh My!
The major league baseball steroid controversy took a new step this week, when Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi were all implicated as steroid users along with some other baseball players. Now Bonds' 73 home run season will be (wink, wink) called into question as will any home run hit by any major league baseball player who happens to gain thirty pounds of muscle mass in any given offseason. There has been the usual blathering about the "integrity of the game," a game that has so much integrity that homosexuals feel they have to play closeted and African Americans had to wait until 1947 for Jackie Robinson to break the color barrier. Oh, and good pitchers frequently throw at opposing batters.
Verbal Jazz has some simple solutions for MLB's drug problem. They could move the fences in ten or twenty feet when a non-juiced player is batting. Or, better yet, MLB could establish steroid and non-steroid league (mandatory drug testing to be in either) and have them meet in the World Series: The Boston Red Sox v. San Francisco Juicers, or something like that. Could you imagine players wanting to test positive for 'roids in order to stay in the juiced league? The Steroid league would be much more popular because "chicks dig the long ball."
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The major league baseball steroid controversy took a new step this week, when Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi were all implicated as steroid users along with some other baseball players. Now Bonds' 73 home run season will be (wink, wink) called into question as will any home run hit by any major league baseball player who happens to gain thirty pounds of muscle mass in any given offseason. There has been the usual blathering about the "integrity of the game," a game that has so much integrity that homosexuals feel they have to play closeted and African Americans had to wait until 1947 for Jackie Robinson to break the color barrier. Oh, and good pitchers frequently throw at opposing batters.
Verbal Jazz has some simple solutions for MLB's drug problem. They could move the fences in ten or twenty feet when a non-juiced player is batting. Or, better yet, MLB could establish steroid and non-steroid league (mandatory drug testing to be in either) and have them meet in the World Series: The Boston Red Sox v. San Francisco Juicers, or something like that. Could you imagine players wanting to test positive for 'roids in order to stay in the juiced league? The Steroid league would be much more popular because "chicks dig the long ball."
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