The Verbal Jazz Highlights and Low Notes of the Week
1. They say, "Boy you gonna be president:" In the war of attrition, Joseph Lieberman was the loser this week, while Howard Dean has faltered to the point where he has taken on the politician's role of unironic optimism in the face of a losing battle ("We will win in Wisconsin.") Meanwhile, Ralph Nader continues to serve his own ends while mulling a 2004 run for the Presidency. Listening to Nader on NPR, Verbal Jazz was struck by his smug indifference to the opinion of those who would ask that he not run. Nader claims that they are trying to violate his First Amendment rights. Let's get one thing straight here, Ralphie boy, asking you not to run is a healthy display of First Amendment rights. So, Ralphie Boy, why not run and further diminish your once considerable credibility.
2. Take my wife, er husband, er domestic partner...what do we call it? Please? The Supreme Judicial Court in Massachusetts says, that, no, legislators cannot pull an end around by substituting Civil Unions for marriage between homosexuals, in case there was any doubt. This prompted outrage from President Flyboy and the Blow-Dried Guv (Mitt Romney. Seriously who names their child after a hand covering meant to protect from a hot cookie sheet or a hard baseball?) and arch socially conservative Democrat, Thomas Finneran (Speaker of the House in the Massachusetts State Legislature). Certain Massachusetts lawmakers are mulling a proposed constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage, Archbishop Sean O'Malley of the Archdiocese of Boston is all for it and apparently has a very short memory of the history of the Archdiocese. Verbal Jazz notes that it would take two years to bring the issue to the ballot by which time the voters in Massachusetts may have become comfortable or at least apathetic to the idea of gay marriage...or Verbal Jazz may eat his words in two years. This is why Verbal Jazz shies away from prognostications...they are almost always wrong. But remember it was once taboo in certain areas for African Americans and Whites to share the same school.
3. We can say "breast," we just can't show it: There has been much more written about Janet Jackson's right tit in the last week than there has about David Kay coming clean about there being no weapons of mass destruction (WoMD) in Iraq. Janet Jackson's sudden exposure is easy to have an opinion on: "How reprehensible!" "How demeaning to women!" "There should be a tape delay!" "Our culture is going down the tubes!" "This is not okay but eating a pig uterus is?" It's those moments of moral gray area that are harder to digest and not quite as titillating. While Verbal Jazz does not object to the baring of a woman's breast, I do find the Super Bowl halftime show to be, well, a bit overdone.
4. Fortune's Ricin: Ricin was found in Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's mailroom earlier this week. Apparently, Ricin is not a very good biological agent with which to kill people, if that was the intent. No doubt there will be conspiracy theories claiming that it is an elaborate scheme to generate fear and maintain the appearance that the war on terror is still being waged (they never caught the Anthrax mailer, either).
5. Duck Season: Is it really improper for Justice Scalia to go duck hunting with the Secret Agent Veep (Cheney) before the Supreme Court hears arguments on the Secret Agent Veep's secret energy cabal? And for Justice Scalia to hunt on the dime of an energy company who stands to benefit from Cheney's energy policy and may have even been part of said cabal? Verbal Jazz will let you, the reader decide if there is any conflict of interest. It is more than likely that Justice Scalia would have already made up his mind on this case with or without the apparent conflict of interest.
Verbal Jazz may have also made some clever Elmer Fudd analogy if cartoonist Mark Fiore had not already done so. Actually, no, Verbal Jazz may never have thought of the Elmer Fudd anaology without Fiore's work.
6. Weapons of Political Destruction: Yesterday, CIA Director George Tenet gave a speech defending intelligence gathering on Iraqi weapons. He said something to the effect of: "We're better off just guessing whether there are weapons or not." Seriously, his actual quote was more along the lines of: "When the facts on Iraq are all in, we will be neither completely right nor completely wrong." Among other things, Tenet noted that the CIA was not able to get into Saddam's inner sanctum, which, apparently provided all the proof the White House needed that there were weapons in Iraq. Meanwhile, President Flyboy has appointed a commission to investigate failed intelligence that the administration used to assume there was an imminent threat.
7. Proof Tom Brady is Gay: This was the number 1 search engine topic on Verbal Jazz this week. Verbal Jazz makes no assumption as to the sexual preference of any NFL Quarterback, Defensive End or Strong Safety. Verbal Jazz also offers no proof on Mr. Brady's sexuality.
8. Verbal Jazz gets a job: Yes, it's true. I start on February 17.
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1. They say, "Boy you gonna be president:" In the war of attrition, Joseph Lieberman was the loser this week, while Howard Dean has faltered to the point where he has taken on the politician's role of unironic optimism in the face of a losing battle ("We will win in Wisconsin.") Meanwhile, Ralph Nader continues to serve his own ends while mulling a 2004 run for the Presidency. Listening to Nader on NPR, Verbal Jazz was struck by his smug indifference to the opinion of those who would ask that he not run. Nader claims that they are trying to violate his First Amendment rights. Let's get one thing straight here, Ralphie boy, asking you not to run is a healthy display of First Amendment rights. So, Ralphie Boy, why not run and further diminish your once considerable credibility.
2. Take my wife, er husband, er domestic partner...what do we call it? Please? The Supreme Judicial Court in Massachusetts says, that, no, legislators cannot pull an end around by substituting Civil Unions for marriage between homosexuals, in case there was any doubt. This prompted outrage from President Flyboy and the Blow-Dried Guv (Mitt Romney. Seriously who names their child after a hand covering meant to protect from a hot cookie sheet or a hard baseball?) and arch socially conservative Democrat, Thomas Finneran (Speaker of the House in the Massachusetts State Legislature). Certain Massachusetts lawmakers are mulling a proposed constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage, Archbishop Sean O'Malley of the Archdiocese of Boston is all for it and apparently has a very short memory of the history of the Archdiocese. Verbal Jazz notes that it would take two years to bring the issue to the ballot by which time the voters in Massachusetts may have become comfortable or at least apathetic to the idea of gay marriage...or Verbal Jazz may eat his words in two years. This is why Verbal Jazz shies away from prognostications...they are almost always wrong. But remember it was once taboo in certain areas for African Americans and Whites to share the same school.
3. We can say "breast," we just can't show it: There has been much more written about Janet Jackson's right tit in the last week than there has about David Kay coming clean about there being no weapons of mass destruction (WoMD) in Iraq. Janet Jackson's sudden exposure is easy to have an opinion on: "How reprehensible!" "How demeaning to women!" "There should be a tape delay!" "Our culture is going down the tubes!" "This is not okay but eating a pig uterus is?" It's those moments of moral gray area that are harder to digest and not quite as titillating. While Verbal Jazz does not object to the baring of a woman's breast, I do find the Super Bowl halftime show to be, well, a bit overdone.
4. Fortune's Ricin: Ricin was found in Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's mailroom earlier this week. Apparently, Ricin is not a very good biological agent with which to kill people, if that was the intent. No doubt there will be conspiracy theories claiming that it is an elaborate scheme to generate fear and maintain the appearance that the war on terror is still being waged (they never caught the Anthrax mailer, either).
5. Duck Season: Is it really improper for Justice Scalia to go duck hunting with the Secret Agent Veep (Cheney) before the Supreme Court hears arguments on the Secret Agent Veep's secret energy cabal? And for Justice Scalia to hunt on the dime of an energy company who stands to benefit from Cheney's energy policy and may have even been part of said cabal? Verbal Jazz will let you, the reader decide if there is any conflict of interest. It is more than likely that Justice Scalia would have already made up his mind on this case with or without the apparent conflict of interest.
Verbal Jazz may have also made some clever Elmer Fudd analogy if cartoonist Mark Fiore had not already done so. Actually, no, Verbal Jazz may never have thought of the Elmer Fudd anaology without Fiore's work.
6. Weapons of Political Destruction: Yesterday, CIA Director George Tenet gave a speech defending intelligence gathering on Iraqi weapons. He said something to the effect of: "We're better off just guessing whether there are weapons or not." Seriously, his actual quote was more along the lines of: "When the facts on Iraq are all in, we will be neither completely right nor completely wrong." Among other things, Tenet noted that the CIA was not able to get into Saddam's inner sanctum, which, apparently provided all the proof the White House needed that there were weapons in Iraq. Meanwhile, President Flyboy has appointed a commission to investigate failed intelligence that the administration used to assume there was an imminent threat.
7. Proof Tom Brady is Gay: This was the number 1 search engine topic on Verbal Jazz this week. Verbal Jazz makes no assumption as to the sexual preference of any NFL Quarterback, Defensive End or Strong Safety. Verbal Jazz also offers no proof on Mr. Brady's sexuality.
8. Verbal Jazz gets a job: Yes, it's true. I start on February 17.
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