Satire
NEA members shipped to Guantanamo Bay
Just days after Education Secretary Rod Paige referred to the National Education Association (NEA) as a "terrorist organization" the CIA began rounding up key NEA members, including NEA President Reg Weaver, and shipping them to Guantanamo Bay, where they are to be held as enemy combatants.
Attorney General John Ashcroft defended this action by stating that "these so-called educators pose a genuine threat to national security." The Attorney General then called for them to be tried by a military tribunal and executed because "membership in the NEA is akin to revoking your citizenship." When it was pointed out that NEA members can be US citizens, Ashcroft backed off stating that, "We'll look into the citizenship issues surrounding membership in this fringe organization."
President Bush said, "I support the Education Secretary in this matter. This is a time of war, and in a time of war we must do what we can to silence the enemy." The president would not answer any reporter questions, but White House Press Secretary, Scott McClellan emphasized that the NEA was planning "dangerous and divisive maneuvers." When asked what those maneuvers are, McClellan said that the NEA wanted "break away from rote learning of the basics and encourage classroom discussions. Who knows what kind of terrorist cells could arise from classroom discussion? Kids might begin to support gay marriage?"
Senator John Kerry at first sounded as though he applauded the move, then quickly moved to take an anti-Bush stance on the issue.
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NEA members shipped to Guantanamo Bay
Just days after Education Secretary Rod Paige referred to the National Education Association (NEA) as a "terrorist organization" the CIA began rounding up key NEA members, including NEA President Reg Weaver, and shipping them to Guantanamo Bay, where they are to be held as enemy combatants.
Attorney General John Ashcroft defended this action by stating that "these so-called educators pose a genuine threat to national security." The Attorney General then called for them to be tried by a military tribunal and executed because "membership in the NEA is akin to revoking your citizenship." When it was pointed out that NEA members can be US citizens, Ashcroft backed off stating that, "We'll look into the citizenship issues surrounding membership in this fringe organization."
President Bush said, "I support the Education Secretary in this matter. This is a time of war, and in a time of war we must do what we can to silence the enemy." The president would not answer any reporter questions, but White House Press Secretary, Scott McClellan emphasized that the NEA was planning "dangerous and divisive maneuvers." When asked what those maneuvers are, McClellan said that the NEA wanted "break away from rote learning of the basics and encourage classroom discussions. Who knows what kind of terrorist cells could arise from classroom discussion? Kids might begin to support gay marriage?"
Senator John Kerry at first sounded as though he applauded the move, then quickly moved to take an anti-Bush stance on the issue.
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