Satire
Bush fears he would have to marry Cheney

Sources inside the White House state that the President's opposition to Gay Marriage stems from the fear that he would be forced to marry Vice President Cheney, a potentially politically damaging union in light of the Vice President's recent duck hunting trip with Justice Scalia, ties to Halliburton, and attempts to create energy policy in secret. Instead of pushing for arranged homosexual marriages in order to support an "agenda" the President thinks we should have arranged heterosexual marriages, according to one White House source. "Plus, the Vice President is really not the President's type. The President is wants someone a little more fit," the source went on to say.

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