Search engine getaway
Occasionally, Verbal Jazz likes to scan through the search engine items that bring people to the mythical land of Verbal Jazz. More often than not, people are not finding what they are looking for when they come here, which leads Verbal Jazz to wonder how people got here in the first place. Without further ado, here are some items that caught our eye:
1. Jason Varitek very pregnant: Is somebody trying to put the Boston Red Sox catcher into a sequel of "Junior?" Would Varitek then run for governor of Massachusetts seeking to oust Governor "Whitebread" (i.e. Romney). If Varitek ran for governor the Missus Jazz would vote for him whether she agreed with him or not. (Missus Jazz officially fumes at our Governor and President).
2. Nigerian clan wedding: Verbal Jazz is officially not an expert on Nigerian Clan wedding rituals. I am an expert on my own nuptials, however. Yesterday, the missus Jazz and I received our proofs from the photographer and they are fabulous. Have I mentioned that our wedding photographer is named Michael Nesmith? Yes, he gets the Monkees reference all the time. When Verbal Jazz first met Mr. Nesmith, I phrased the question thusly: "You must be sick of all the Monkees references." Hardly original, I know. Mr. Nesmith is very diplomatic about it. I bet if he photographed a Nigerian clan wedding, no one there would get the reference to the Monkees inherent in his name.
3. Dukakis in a tank quayle potato monkey business: What are three superfluous political stories from the 1980s? How often can Dan Quayle take heat for misspelling potato? Mike Dukakis for riding in a tank? Gary Hart for all his Monkey Business?
4. applebee's song: We've already discussed how the Applebee's theme is incorrect on so many semantic levels. Why beat a dead horse? (No horse was actually beaten in the writing of this Blog. Not other animals were harmed, except those that happened to stumble upon Verbal Jazz).
5. sound bites Sandra Day O'Connor: Next man bites dog. Should one ask Justice O'Connor what it is like being bit by sound?
6. Planning office holiday party: When planning an office holiday party, Verbal Jazz makes the following recommendations: get everyone rip-roaring drunk and take plenty of potential blackmail photos.
7. Holiday anagrams: Here are some fun Holiday Anagrams not fit for the entire family: Satan slauc; oyt; srsca mscloiecramim; ftginergi; loca.*
8. Chris Vallancourt: Swell guy, I know him quite well.
*Anagram answers: Santa Claus; toy; crass commercialism; regifiting; coal |
Occasionally, Verbal Jazz likes to scan through the search engine items that bring people to the mythical land of Verbal Jazz. More often than not, people are not finding what they are looking for when they come here, which leads Verbal Jazz to wonder how people got here in the first place. Without further ado, here are some items that caught our eye:
1. Jason Varitek very pregnant: Is somebody trying to put the Boston Red Sox catcher into a sequel of "Junior?" Would Varitek then run for governor of Massachusetts seeking to oust Governor "Whitebread" (i.e. Romney). If Varitek ran for governor the Missus Jazz would vote for him whether she agreed with him or not. (Missus Jazz officially fumes at our Governor and President).
2. Nigerian clan wedding: Verbal Jazz is officially not an expert on Nigerian Clan wedding rituals. I am an expert on my own nuptials, however. Yesterday, the missus Jazz and I received our proofs from the photographer and they are fabulous. Have I mentioned that our wedding photographer is named Michael Nesmith? Yes, he gets the Monkees reference all the time. When Verbal Jazz first met Mr. Nesmith, I phrased the question thusly: "You must be sick of all the Monkees references." Hardly original, I know. Mr. Nesmith is very diplomatic about it. I bet if he photographed a Nigerian clan wedding, no one there would get the reference to the Monkees inherent in his name.
3. Dukakis in a tank quayle potato monkey business: What are three superfluous political stories from the 1980s? How often can Dan Quayle take heat for misspelling potato? Mike Dukakis for riding in a tank? Gary Hart for all his Monkey Business?
4. applebee's song: We've already discussed how the Applebee's theme is incorrect on so many semantic levels. Why beat a dead horse? (No horse was actually beaten in the writing of this Blog. Not other animals were harmed, except those that happened to stumble upon Verbal Jazz).
5. sound bites Sandra Day O'Connor: Next man bites dog. Should one ask Justice O'Connor what it is like being bit by sound?
6. Planning office holiday party: When planning an office holiday party, Verbal Jazz makes the following recommendations: get everyone rip-roaring drunk and take plenty of potential blackmail photos.
7. Holiday anagrams: Here are some fun Holiday Anagrams not fit for the entire family: Satan slauc; oyt; srsca mscloiecramim; ftginergi; loca.*
8. Chris Vallancourt: Swell guy, I know him quite well.
*Anagram answers: Santa Claus; toy; crass commercialism; regifiting; coal |
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