Crap That I'm Sick Of
Because there's crap...then there's crap that I'm sick of
This week's list
1. Happy Holidays: For some reason, Verbal Jazz has not been much in the Holiday spirit this year. Perhaps it has to do with the ongoing job hunt, or it could be that I finally found out that the spirit Santa Claus does not live throughout the year. I'm still mulling a lawsuit against all of the adults who mislead me about Santa Claus in my impressionable years, after I pursue my lawsuit against the administration due to the pain and suffering caused by hostility to my francophonic last name. Anyway, to get me in the spirit, here are 5 of my favorite Holiday songs ( a list within a list, how ingenious!):
I. "Greensleeves" has long been my favorite Holiday song. There's a scene in the movie "Simple Men" where a gas station attendant is playing this song on an electric guitar. I've done that. John Coltrane could do wonders for any song and this is no exception. If you get a chance to listen to Coltrane playing "My Favorite Things" in a Target commercial, you might understand what I mean. Live at the Village Vanguard features Coltrane blasting the hell out of this song and his solid band (McCoy Tyner on piano deserves mention here) backing him up all the way.
II. "The Christmas Song:" Mel Torme wrote it, but Nat King Cole brings a smooth elegance to it. You know, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," and so on. Wonderful chord changes, it just feels like the Holidays.
II. "O, Christmas Tree." The Vince Guaraldi version on "A Charlie Brown Christmas" makes this song swing, a bit of a diversion from "O, Tannenbaum" but what the hey? Guaraldi fits this song into the American vernacular. The Luciano Pavarotti/Vanessa Williams duet on "SNL" will not be discussed: opera singers and pop singers should not sing together. Ever.
IV. "The Little Drummer Boy." Who was the idiot that thought David Bowie and Bing Crosby could do a duet of "Little Drummer Boy?" The Thin White Duke and an overrated crooner from a bygone era? Verbal Jazz cannot stand listening to Bing Crosby sing. It sounds overly forced. The Missus Jazz loves him and insists that we watch "White Christmas" every year. Really. So why does this song work? Verbal Jazz thinks it works because Crosby is the background bass and not the lead, while Bowie sings about such hopeful treacle as "Peace on Earth." I love this song.
V. "What Christmas Means to Me:" Stevie Wonder brings some soul to the Christmas song and finds the pure joy of the season.
2. 8 Candidates Out: The media, the polls, and Al Gore seem ready to anoint, coronate, or declare (pick one) Howard Dean the Democratic nominee for the position of POTUS. All this before a single primary vote has been cast. It all takes the fun out of voting. Verbal Jazz believes that polls create a sheep-like mentality. Where I may have considered voting for Lyndon LaRouche (not really, but I am making a point here), I may not now because the crackpot has no chance of winning. It's a vicious circle: politicians end up not speaking to the voters, but to those who are polled. Thus, the polls have set the Dean avalanche rolling. Now about this New Hampshire and Iowa Presidential Primary fetish...
3. Let it snow, but not near the MBTA: On Tuesday, Verbal Jazz spent 45 minutes waiting and watching as overcrowded train after overcrowded train passed him by. I ended up walking to work from the Commuter Rail station (after that train had been 15 minutes late) and being an hour late for work.
4. Hot stove chess: Imagine for a minute that chess involved not one piece taking another in order to place the opposing king in mortal danger, but contract negotiations and shuffling of money before, say a bishop could take a queen and announce, "Check!" That's kind of what the news is like as the Red Sox attempt to trade Manny Ramirez for Alex Rodriguez and then turn around to ship Nomar Garciaparra to the West Coast. What it really amounts to is the Red Sox attempting to put a media savvy salesman (i.e. A-Rod) in the lineup who just happens to be the best player in the game, while dumping off two very good players who think "media" is a four-letter word (at least one of those is because the player can only count to four). Is baseball heading for these kind of contracts: looking for player with solid PR skills as well as the ability to catch, throw and hit? Verbal Jazz would almost rather have players who feel uncomfortable talking to Fleet Bank. Anyway, it doesn't look good for this deal.
5. Couldn't wearing "Abercrombie" be construed as a religious symbol, also (Church of the Sheep-like Consumer)? Verbal Jazz has not been one to attack the French for their refusal to back President "My-Way-or-the-Highway" (check the etymology of Vallancourt and figure it out), but the French seem ready to back a ban on Islamic headscarves as well as Jewish skullcaps and large Christian crosses. While not a big fan of religious proselytizing, Verbal Jazz does believe in free expression. In other words Muslims should be allowed to wear headscarves and Christians can bow their head and pray silently before consuming mystery meat, but no one needs to hear about "The Book of Mormon" on school property. In other words, the French are taking this whole "secular" thing too far.
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Because there's crap...then there's crap that I'm sick of
This week's list
1. Happy Holidays: For some reason, Verbal Jazz has not been much in the Holiday spirit this year. Perhaps it has to do with the ongoing job hunt, or it could be that I finally found out that the spirit Santa Claus does not live throughout the year. I'm still mulling a lawsuit against all of the adults who mislead me about Santa Claus in my impressionable years, after I pursue my lawsuit against the administration due to the pain and suffering caused by hostility to my francophonic last name. Anyway, to get me in the spirit, here are 5 of my favorite Holiday songs ( a list within a list, how ingenious!):
I. "Greensleeves" has long been my favorite Holiday song. There's a scene in the movie "Simple Men" where a gas station attendant is playing this song on an electric guitar. I've done that. John Coltrane could do wonders for any song and this is no exception. If you get a chance to listen to Coltrane playing "My Favorite Things" in a Target commercial, you might understand what I mean. Live at the Village Vanguard features Coltrane blasting the hell out of this song and his solid band (McCoy Tyner on piano deserves mention here) backing him up all the way.
II. "The Christmas Song:" Mel Torme wrote it, but Nat King Cole brings a smooth elegance to it. You know, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," and so on. Wonderful chord changes, it just feels like the Holidays.
II. "O, Christmas Tree." The Vince Guaraldi version on "A Charlie Brown Christmas" makes this song swing, a bit of a diversion from "O, Tannenbaum" but what the hey? Guaraldi fits this song into the American vernacular. The Luciano Pavarotti/Vanessa Williams duet on "SNL" will not be discussed: opera singers and pop singers should not sing together. Ever.
IV. "The Little Drummer Boy." Who was the idiot that thought David Bowie and Bing Crosby could do a duet of "Little Drummer Boy?" The Thin White Duke and an overrated crooner from a bygone era? Verbal Jazz cannot stand listening to Bing Crosby sing. It sounds overly forced. The Missus Jazz loves him and insists that we watch "White Christmas" every year. Really. So why does this song work? Verbal Jazz thinks it works because Crosby is the background bass and not the lead, while Bowie sings about such hopeful treacle as "Peace on Earth." I love this song.
V. "What Christmas Means to Me:" Stevie Wonder brings some soul to the Christmas song and finds the pure joy of the season.
2. 8 Candidates Out: The media, the polls, and Al Gore seem ready to anoint, coronate, or declare (pick one) Howard Dean the Democratic nominee for the position of POTUS. All this before a single primary vote has been cast. It all takes the fun out of voting. Verbal Jazz believes that polls create a sheep-like mentality. Where I may have considered voting for Lyndon LaRouche (not really, but I am making a point here), I may not now because the crackpot has no chance of winning. It's a vicious circle: politicians end up not speaking to the voters, but to those who are polled. Thus, the polls have set the Dean avalanche rolling. Now about this New Hampshire and Iowa Presidential Primary fetish...
3. Let it snow, but not near the MBTA: On Tuesday, Verbal Jazz spent 45 minutes waiting and watching as overcrowded train after overcrowded train passed him by. I ended up walking to work from the Commuter Rail station (after that train had been 15 minutes late) and being an hour late for work.
4. Hot stove chess: Imagine for a minute that chess involved not one piece taking another in order to place the opposing king in mortal danger, but contract negotiations and shuffling of money before, say a bishop could take a queen and announce, "Check!" That's kind of what the news is like as the Red Sox attempt to trade Manny Ramirez for Alex Rodriguez and then turn around to ship Nomar Garciaparra to the West Coast. What it really amounts to is the Red Sox attempting to put a media savvy salesman (i.e. A-Rod) in the lineup who just happens to be the best player in the game, while dumping off two very good players who think "media" is a four-letter word (at least one of those is because the player can only count to four). Is baseball heading for these kind of contracts: looking for player with solid PR skills as well as the ability to catch, throw and hit? Verbal Jazz would almost rather have players who feel uncomfortable talking to Fleet Bank. Anyway, it doesn't look good for this deal.
5. Couldn't wearing "Abercrombie" be construed as a religious symbol, also (Church of the Sheep-like Consumer)? Verbal Jazz has not been one to attack the French for their refusal to back President "My-Way-or-the-Highway" (check the etymology of Vallancourt and figure it out), but the French seem ready to back a ban on Islamic headscarves as well as Jewish skullcaps and large Christian crosses. While not a big fan of religious proselytizing, Verbal Jazz does believe in free expression. In other words Muslims should be allowed to wear headscarves and Christians can bow their head and pray silently before consuming mystery meat, but no one needs to hear about "The Book of Mormon" on school property. In other words, the French are taking this whole "secular" thing too far.
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