Crap That I'm Sick Of...
Because there's crap...then there's crap that I'm sick of
This week's list:
1. Because it's a thriller... By now everyone knows that in the past week Michael Jackson has had his house searched, been arrested, been charged with molesting a child, posted some ridiculous bail, and, seemingly related if you are to believe Jackson's camp, released a greatest hits album. We also know what his mug shot looks like, and that any reasonable parent would never let a child near the Neverland Ranch (doesn't the Peter Pan allusion creep you out just a little?).
2. Until now, I thought it was just a hotel in France: Really, who cares that some wealthy socialite appeared in an amateur porno that was meant for private audiences? Obviously the people who waste our time with the numerous Paris Hilton articles. Big deal, lots of women spread their legs for men who are happy to partake in the joys of their leg spreading. In a few years she'll be the tip-of-the-tongue-yet-oh-so-elusive answer to a Trivial Pursuit question.
3. That darned crazy cat on a hot tin roof of kitty litter: The early returns are in: "The Cat in the Hat" sucks. That does not mean it won't make a gazillion dollars (A gazillion-twenty Euros), though. Although no animals may have been harmed in the making of the film, the reputation of Dr. Seuss sure takes a blow. Over the past few weeks we have been barraged with ads for the movie and the BK tie in, as well as seeing Mike Myers catted up face in the Subway. Enough already, we get that the movie opens today and the promotional tie-ins are all lined up. Aren't you glad this didn't rhyme?
4. Tourists, I mean terrorists: The way Bush says "terrorists," he makes it sound like "Tourists." Think about it: we will not let "tourists" get away with it. Or something like that. The bombings in Turkey were frighteningly awful. Iraq is still a gawdawful mess, yet, we are going to dismantle al-Qaeda's organizational structure. Soon, they will have to outsource to temporary staffing.
5. Moral absolutism: Perfect solution for those opposed to gay marriage: Marry het style, instead. I mean, it is your preference, right? Or you could join the many churches that do not allow gays to marry. Verbal Jazz has problems with moral absolutism, anyway. Opposed to abortion? Work to provide greater access to contraceptives, or in the case of that cabal of white male legislators surrounding Bush as he signed the late term abortion bill: draft legislation to distribute condoms. It'll never happen, but, hey, Verbal Jazz at least offers real world solutions. [side note: the best commentary I have seen on Gay Marriage can be found on Slate].
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Because there's crap...then there's crap that I'm sick of
This week's list:
1. Because it's a thriller... By now everyone knows that in the past week Michael Jackson has had his house searched, been arrested, been charged with molesting a child, posted some ridiculous bail, and, seemingly related if you are to believe Jackson's camp, released a greatest hits album. We also know what his mug shot looks like, and that any reasonable parent would never let a child near the Neverland Ranch (doesn't the Peter Pan allusion creep you out just a little?).
2. Until now, I thought it was just a hotel in France: Really, who cares that some wealthy socialite appeared in an amateur porno that was meant for private audiences? Obviously the people who waste our time with the numerous Paris Hilton articles. Big deal, lots of women spread their legs for men who are happy to partake in the joys of their leg spreading. In a few years she'll be the tip-of-the-tongue-yet-oh-so-elusive answer to a Trivial Pursuit question.
3. That darned crazy cat on a hot tin roof of kitty litter: The early returns are in: "The Cat in the Hat" sucks. That does not mean it won't make a gazillion dollars (A gazillion-twenty Euros), though. Although no animals may have been harmed in the making of the film, the reputation of Dr. Seuss sure takes a blow. Over the past few weeks we have been barraged with ads for the movie and the BK tie in, as well as seeing Mike Myers catted up face in the Subway. Enough already, we get that the movie opens today and the promotional tie-ins are all lined up. Aren't you glad this didn't rhyme?
4. Tourists, I mean terrorists: The way Bush says "terrorists," he makes it sound like "Tourists." Think about it: we will not let "tourists" get away with it. Or something like that. The bombings in Turkey were frighteningly awful. Iraq is still a gawdawful mess, yet, we are going to dismantle al-Qaeda's organizational structure. Soon, they will have to outsource to temporary staffing.
5. Moral absolutism: Perfect solution for those opposed to gay marriage: Marry het style, instead. I mean, it is your preference, right? Or you could join the many churches that do not allow gays to marry. Verbal Jazz has problems with moral absolutism, anyway. Opposed to abortion? Work to provide greater access to contraceptives, or in the case of that cabal of white male legislators surrounding Bush as he signed the late term abortion bill: draft legislation to distribute condoms. It'll never happen, but, hey, Verbal Jazz at least offers real world solutions. [side note: the best commentary I have seen on Gay Marriage can be found on Slate].
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