May I assist you in finding something?
One of the running items in Verbal Jazz is the bizarre search items that lead people to this oasis of intellectual freedom. Recent weeks have been dominated by various permutations of "Flabby Arnold Schwarzenegger" which we will kindly retire to the Verbal Jazz Search Engine Hall of Fame (VJSEHOF), along with "Reasons to go to War With Iraq," which preceded the Verbal Jazz blog format.
That said here are the search items that amuse only me (aside from "flabby governator"):
1. Groper Arnold pics: was someone looking for photos of California's governor elect, brought to you by recall, actually engaged in the act of groping? What? We can't take their word for it? Obviously serial groping is a great way to get elected: it shows you've got hormones. Politics is all about not taking "NO" for an answer (see Bush, George and UN relations)
2. Inspirational Red Sox quotes: "Cowboy Up!" doesn't work for everybody, obviously. It doesn't work for me either. My S.O. (soon to be wife), does not like it when the Sox players talk about having faith in the lord and giving them the ability to a) hit a baseball real far, b) strike batters out, c) play heads up baseball. Look, it's great to be a talented athlete, but the lord has got bigger fish to fry (the Marlins, maybe?) than micromanaging a team trying to shrug off a curse (of the Bambino) that was invented by a blowhard sportswriter (who has no presence for TV at all, trust me). Anyway, Verbal Jazz has thought about god-given sports ability and can attest to the fact that athletic accomplishment can often feel like something else is taking over your body, even as I run my mediocre miles in preparation for a marathon. That said, if believing in the lord helps you catch the baseball, so be it as long as you keep winning the ball games.
3. Baseball fiancees: are "Mark Prior and fiance" really an item? If he does, are they and "Nomar and Mia" planning the same wedding date? Maybe if the Cubs and Sox make the Series, they will each have an on-field ceremony: one at Wrigley, one at Fenway, in order to boost Fox's World Series ratings. Guys, it would be for the good of the game, trust me.
4. "Florida Marlins suck quotes:" Well, obviously they don't, but their fans are the worst kind of fair-weather atrocities to ever go to a football game to see a baseball game break out.
5. Here comes Enron: People, please leave "Jeff Skilling wife daughter" out of this. It's like picking on Chelsea Clinton because her parents were trying to put together a Universal Health Care package. For shame.
6. "Nancy Reagan Diff'rent Strokes Onion:" Just say no to onion breath emanating from old sitcoms?
7. "Gambling is bad except when its investing 'rick neuheisel:" I'll let you figure that one out. Gotta see how my Enron stock did against the spread in its game against LSU. |
One of the running items in Verbal Jazz is the bizarre search items that lead people to this oasis of intellectual freedom. Recent weeks have been dominated by various permutations of "Flabby Arnold Schwarzenegger" which we will kindly retire to the Verbal Jazz Search Engine Hall of Fame (VJSEHOF), along with "Reasons to go to War With Iraq," which preceded the Verbal Jazz blog format.
That said here are the search items that amuse only me (aside from "flabby governator"):
1. Groper Arnold pics: was someone looking for photos of California's governor elect, brought to you by recall, actually engaged in the act of groping? What? We can't take their word for it? Obviously serial groping is a great way to get elected: it shows you've got hormones. Politics is all about not taking "NO" for an answer (see Bush, George and UN relations)
2. Inspirational Red Sox quotes: "Cowboy Up!" doesn't work for everybody, obviously. It doesn't work for me either. My S.O. (soon to be wife), does not like it when the Sox players talk about having faith in the lord and giving them the ability to a) hit a baseball real far, b) strike batters out, c) play heads up baseball. Look, it's great to be a talented athlete, but the lord has got bigger fish to fry (the Marlins, maybe?) than micromanaging a team trying to shrug off a curse (of the Bambino) that was invented by a blowhard sportswriter (who has no presence for TV at all, trust me). Anyway, Verbal Jazz has thought about god-given sports ability and can attest to the fact that athletic accomplishment can often feel like something else is taking over your body, even as I run my mediocre miles in preparation for a marathon. That said, if believing in the lord helps you catch the baseball, so be it as long as you keep winning the ball games.
3. Baseball fiancees: are "Mark Prior and fiance" really an item? If he does, are they and "Nomar and Mia" planning the same wedding date? Maybe if the Cubs and Sox make the Series, they will each have an on-field ceremony: one at Wrigley, one at Fenway, in order to boost Fox's World Series ratings. Guys, it would be for the good of the game, trust me.
4. "Florida Marlins suck quotes:" Well, obviously they don't, but their fans are the worst kind of fair-weather atrocities to ever go to a football game to see a baseball game break out.
5. Here comes Enron: People, please leave "Jeff Skilling wife daughter" out of this. It's like picking on Chelsea Clinton because her parents were trying to put together a Universal Health Care package. For shame.
6. "Nancy Reagan Diff'rent Strokes Onion:" Just say no to onion breath emanating from old sitcoms?
7. "Gambling is bad except when its investing 'rick neuheisel:" I'll let you figure that one out. Gotta see how my Enron stock did against the spread in its game against LSU. |
<< Home