Oh, yeah!
Verbal Jazz is suffering from the affliction known as the "Woulda-coulda-shoulda-saids." While riding my bicycle home from the choo-choo train station (or Commuter Rail, to those in the know) some numbnut, who doubtless would be driving drunk later this evening, pulled up next to me at a stop sign and said: "Why don't you stay out of the road?" Then promptly pulled away before I could have the chance to commit battery.
My response was sort of the knee-jerk, I-can't-believe-I-have-to-put-up-with-morons-like-this variety: "Because it's the law, f**k ass!"
Normally, Verbal Jazz uses epithets like f**k ass, only when upset or when dumbing down. Obviously, this situation called for both. Here is a list of things I "Woulda-coulda-shoulda-said:"
1. Why haven't you yet passed the bar?
2. Because I like to annoy morons who don’t know the rules of the road.
3. I forgot you had no manners.
4. Why haven't you yet solved the mystery of pi?
5. Because, as I understand it, a bicycle fits the definition of vehicle.
6. I, like you, am too stupid to know better.
7. The Red Sox have not won the World Series since 1918
8. I was rushing home to see if the Bush administration released a Friday evening press release rolling back some important piece of environmental legislation
9. I'm testing my preparedness in case terrorists manage to cut us off from the gas supply
10. Because I am better than you, or had no one told you.
11. God told me to, you don't question that, do you?
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Verbal Jazz is suffering from the affliction known as the "Woulda-coulda-shoulda-saids." While riding my bicycle home from the choo-choo train station (or Commuter Rail, to those in the know) some numbnut, who doubtless would be driving drunk later this evening, pulled up next to me at a stop sign and said: "Why don't you stay out of the road?" Then promptly pulled away before I could have the chance to commit battery.
My response was sort of the knee-jerk, I-can't-believe-I-have-to-put-up-with-morons-like-this variety: "Because it's the law, f**k ass!"
Normally, Verbal Jazz uses epithets like f**k ass, only when upset or when dumbing down. Obviously, this situation called for both. Here is a list of things I "Woulda-coulda-shoulda-said:"
1. Why haven't you yet passed the bar?
2. Because I like to annoy morons who don’t know the rules of the road.
3. I forgot you had no manners.
4. Why haven't you yet solved the mystery of pi?
5. Because, as I understand it, a bicycle fits the definition of vehicle.
6. I, like you, am too stupid to know better.
7. The Red Sox have not won the World Series since 1918
8. I was rushing home to see if the Bush administration released a Friday evening press release rolling back some important piece of environmental legislation
9. I'm testing my preparedness in case terrorists manage to cut us off from the gas supply
10. Because I am better than you, or had no one told you.
11. God told me to, you don't question that, do you?
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