Can I help you find something, sir
The semi-regular chronicling of unusual search items that land the unsuspecting and the unwilling to the pages of Verbal Jazz.
1. Take off that spare tire, Mr. Terminator: Once again the California Recall election seems to be dominated by folks who just want to see a photo of a flabby Arnold Schwarzenegger. Verbal Jazz has no such photo and was not able to find one. In fact, Verbal Jazz will no longer waste the energy to look for a flabby Schwarzenegger photo, even if people are looking for "Schwarzenegger with his shirt off flabby."
2. "Isabel Hurricane picture Snopes:" Aside from being syntactically challenged (Hurricane Isabel not the other way around), why this person did not just go to Snopes.com is beyond me. Anyway, the pics of Dizzy Izzy are mere fabrications. Speaking of dizzy, I once had a Physics teacher in High School known as "Dizzy Mizzy with the Clip-on Tie." The Mizzy part comes from his last name. It's such a let down when the hurricane is gone. I miss it so.
3. "Christians for Wesley Clark:" In 1980 it was: "Are you better off than you were four years ago?" 1992: "It's the economy, stupid." 1988 saw Mike Dukakis in a tank. 2000: Chad was hung out to dry. 2004: "Who would Jesus vote for?" Sure to be the raging political debate of the 2004 campaign season. Let me tell ya, the ones that are really contemplating that are voting to re-elect the Creationist, Science Denier in the White House.
4. "albert einstein's brainremovedtruthrumor:" Funny thing is, when you type this into Google, nothing comes back. Maybe it was one time thing or maybe it really was: "albert einstein's brain removed truth rumor:"
5. "support gary coleman/governor of California:" What self-respecting child of the eighties wouldn't?
6. "LeBron James' Yearly salary:" He's a huge talent, I'm happy for him and wish him all the best with the Cavaliers. He will make more money in a day than I make in a year. Hell, if I could play basketball, I would do it too. Boo yeah!
7. "Paula Albertson:" Who? This was just a name I made up for a satire.
8. "Wiffle Ball Court:" I'm game. Anyone want to play?
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The semi-regular chronicling of unusual search items that land the unsuspecting and the unwilling to the pages of Verbal Jazz.
1. Take off that spare tire, Mr. Terminator: Once again the California Recall election seems to be dominated by folks who just want to see a photo of a flabby Arnold Schwarzenegger. Verbal Jazz has no such photo and was not able to find one. In fact, Verbal Jazz will no longer waste the energy to look for a flabby Schwarzenegger photo, even if people are looking for "Schwarzenegger with his shirt off flabby."
2. "Isabel Hurricane picture Snopes:" Aside from being syntactically challenged (Hurricane Isabel not the other way around), why this person did not just go to Snopes.com is beyond me. Anyway, the pics of Dizzy Izzy are mere fabrications. Speaking of dizzy, I once had a Physics teacher in High School known as "Dizzy Mizzy with the Clip-on Tie." The Mizzy part comes from his last name. It's such a let down when the hurricane is gone. I miss it so.
3. "Christians for Wesley Clark:" In 1980 it was: "Are you better off than you were four years ago?" 1992: "It's the economy, stupid." 1988 saw Mike Dukakis in a tank. 2000: Chad was hung out to dry. 2004: "Who would Jesus vote for?" Sure to be the raging political debate of the 2004 campaign season. Let me tell ya, the ones that are really contemplating that are voting to re-elect the Creationist, Science Denier in the White House.
4. "albert einstein's brainremovedtruthrumor:" Funny thing is, when you type this into Google, nothing comes back. Maybe it was one time thing or maybe it really was: "albert einstein's brain removed truth rumor:"
5. "support gary coleman/governor of California:" What self-respecting child of the eighties wouldn't?
6. "LeBron James' Yearly salary:" He's a huge talent, I'm happy for him and wish him all the best with the Cavaliers. He will make more money in a day than I make in a year. Hell, if I could play basketball, I would do it too. Boo yeah!
7. "Paula Albertson:" Who? This was just a name I made up for a satire.
8. "Wiffle Ball Court:" I'm game. Anyone want to play?
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