Don't forget to turn the lights out
Well, we can be rest assured that it (i.e. the blackout) was not the work of a terrorist, according to the President who spoke gravely, the undertone of which seemed to say, "but a terrorist could do this." Rummy and Wolfy were surely disappointed that they did not get to play "Six Degrees of Al-Qaeda" in the aftermath of the blackout in order to point the guns at Damascus because the lights went dark in New York.
So, where does the blame for the blackout lie? The Democratic Leadership Council will blame the Bush Administration, once they check their poll numbers and realize it is becoming slightly more acceptable to criticize the President. The Bush Administration will blame the Clinton Administration and the Democrats for allowing so many cities to be on the same grid, and then come up with a plan for Americans to use more electricity called the "Healthy Currents Initiative" (picture the speech: "Only by using more electricity, can we be assured that we will have electricity to use;" applause from the power companies). Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson will find some way (i.e. Jesus, who cannot seem to speak for himself, but only through charlatans) to fault homosexuals. NYC tourists will begin learning mountain survival skills. Stranded commuters will blame the Metropolitan Transit Authority. Environmentalists will fault our over reliance on fossil fuels used to produced electricity. Ted Kennedy will fault the Cape Cod wind farm project. Fox News will put the blackout into its legal complaint against Al Franken. The New York Mets will blame Bud Selig, Commissioner of Baseball, which will lead to Selig stepping down from his post in order to be replaced by Gary Coleman, fresh from his loss to Gallagher in the California recall election (Californians really cannot be so flaky as to elect Arnold, can they?).
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Well, we can be rest assured that it (i.e. the blackout) was not the work of a terrorist, according to the President who spoke gravely, the undertone of which seemed to say, "but a terrorist could do this." Rummy and Wolfy were surely disappointed that they did not get to play "Six Degrees of Al-Qaeda" in the aftermath of the blackout in order to point the guns at Damascus because the lights went dark in New York.
So, where does the blame for the blackout lie? The Democratic Leadership Council will blame the Bush Administration, once they check their poll numbers and realize it is becoming slightly more acceptable to criticize the President. The Bush Administration will blame the Clinton Administration and the Democrats for allowing so many cities to be on the same grid, and then come up with a plan for Americans to use more electricity called the "Healthy Currents Initiative" (picture the speech: "Only by using more electricity, can we be assured that we will have electricity to use;" applause from the power companies). Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson will find some way (i.e. Jesus, who cannot seem to speak for himself, but only through charlatans) to fault homosexuals. NYC tourists will begin learning mountain survival skills. Stranded commuters will blame the Metropolitan Transit Authority. Environmentalists will fault our over reliance on fossil fuels used to produced electricity. Ted Kennedy will fault the Cape Cod wind farm project. Fox News will put the blackout into its legal complaint against Al Franken. The New York Mets will blame Bud Selig, Commissioner of Baseball, which will lead to Selig stepping down from his post in order to be replaced by Gary Coleman, fresh from his loss to Gallagher in the California recall election (Californians really cannot be so flaky as to elect Arnold, can they?).
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