Satire
Bush looking to ban same animal marriages
WASHINGTON, DC - White House lawyers are currently working to draft legislation that would not only ban same-sex marriage, but would also block same animal marriage. The President asserted that a marriage between two dogs would "weaken the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman."
PETA quickly issued a press release taking umbrage with the President’s remarks: "PETA finds the President’s remarks on the subject to be a tasteless violation of the rights of animals as every dog, cat, horse, cow, chicken, sheep, and salamander should be afforded the right to marry should they so desire."
Senator Rick Santrorum (R-PA), famous for linking homosexuality and bestiality recently, applauded the President’s initiative. "This will send a message that by allowing animals to engage in sexual activity, we open the door to deviant practices which destroy the American family."
The President also stated his opposition to doing it "Doggie Style" but thought the Supreme Court may overrule legislation banning the practice. No dogs were available for comment.
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Bush looking to ban same animal marriages
WASHINGTON, DC - White House lawyers are currently working to draft legislation that would not only ban same-sex marriage, but would also block same animal marriage. The President asserted that a marriage between two dogs would "weaken the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman."
PETA quickly issued a press release taking umbrage with the President’s remarks: "PETA finds the President’s remarks on the subject to be a tasteless violation of the rights of animals as every dog, cat, horse, cow, chicken, sheep, and salamander should be afforded the right to marry should they so desire."
Senator Rick Santrorum (R-PA), famous for linking homosexuality and bestiality recently, applauded the President’s initiative. "This will send a message that by allowing animals to engage in sexual activity, we open the door to deviant practices which destroy the American family."
The President also stated his opposition to doing it "Doggie Style" but thought the Supreme Court may overrule legislation banning the practice. No dogs were available for comment.
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