All-Star Game

Sportswriters are overwrought in their assessment of the importance of Baseball's All-Star Game. Sp what if Frank Thomas and Sammy Sosa aren't playing in their "home" city? I fell asleep watching last year's fiasco (a tie game) in the 5th inning, or about 9:30 PM after the extended pre-game and pre-pre-game and Ray Liotta reading really bad homages to baseball and country.

Verbal Jazz would like to make the following 5 suggestions for All-Star game changes:

1. Lefties v. Righties. For pitchers it is their throwing arm that decides their team, for position players, it is the side of plate from which they bat. Switch hitters stay home.
2. Have the American League represent the Republicans and the National League represent the Democrats and cede majority control of the House and Senate to the winner.
3. The losing pitcher accepts a lifetime ban from baseball.
4. Inverse representation: the worst teams get 7 roster spots each. The Yankees get one.
5. Forget the effing game, just give us the Home Run Derby

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