Friday, June 13, 2003

Satire
Psychic enlisted to find weapons

WASHINGTON, DC - Desperate to find the Weapons of Mass Destruction that were crucial in deciding to go to war in Iraq, the White House has enlisted the aid of renowned psychic Mara Zalesta.

"[Zalesta] has found missing children using a combination of divination techniques," said Press Secretary Ari Fleischer. "The President has the utmost confidence in her ability to find Saddam's weapons."

When pressed about what Zalesta's divination techniques are, Fleischer refused to comment, however an anonymous source close to the administration believes that Zalesta will primarily try to use her abilities as a medium in a seance setting. "If Saddam is dead, he may be able to lead the psychic to the weapons or else be doomed to haunt the earth until his soul is at rest."

Ms. Zalesta's services will cost roughly $4.99/per minute.

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